- Danny Griffin: You're not funny, you know. Even for a Scot.
- Steve McAndrew: Well, who pissed in your handbag today?
- [Sasha takes her first sip of tea in several days, and sighs with enjoyment]
- Gerry Standing: If I'd known it was that easy to make a woman moan, I would have called myself Earl Grey.
- [first lines]
- Gerry Standing: We're going to be about as popular as a fart in a spacesuit.
- Danny Griffin: Can we go home now?
- DCI Sasha Miller: Yep. You might just enjoy yourselves.
- Bouncer: Awright, you can come in, but you lot... no way. Strip club's 'round the corner.
- DCI Sasha Miller: [showing warrant card] Yep, they're with me.
- Gerry Standing: And we're on business!
- Danny Griffin: So all we've got is the E-FIT?
- DCI Sasha Miller: Yes, Danny, the E-FIt is all we've got. But we like a challenge. Don't we?
- [Steve is texting while they walk]
- Gerry Standing: We're trolling down here on a totally pointless... Are you listening to any of this?
- Steve McAndrew: Yean, I'm doing it.
- Gerry Standing: Can you give us five grand and pay me bar bill for a year?
- Steve McAndrew: Of course; no problem, yeah, yeah.