- Rick: Oh, great adventure, buddy. Rick and Morty go to a giant prison. You know if someone drops the soap it's going to land on our heads and crush our spines, Morty. You know, it'll be really easy to rape us after that.
- Meeseeks: We are created to serve a singular purpose, for which we will go at any lengths to fulfill!
- Mr Meeseeks: Your failures are your own, old man!
- Jerry Smith: [golfing divot]
- Mr Meeseeks: That's okay! I'm Mr Meeseeks, look at me! Keep your head down?
- Jerry Smith: Well which is it? Square my shoulders or keep my head down?
- Mr Meeseeks: It's kind of both. But the important thing is to relax.
- Jerry Smith: Well, Mr Meeseeks, I don't think that this is working, I give up.
- Mr Meeseeks: I'm sorry, Jerry, but it doesn't work like that. I'm Mr Meeseeks! I have to fulfill my purpose so I can go away! Look at me!
- Jerry Smith: Well, make yourself comfortable because I suck.
- Mr Meeseeks: No Jerry, I'm the one who SUUUCKS! Let me try something
- [Mr Meeseeks hits the button on the Meeseeks box and another Mr Meeseeks appears]
- Mr Meeseeks's Mr Meeseeks: HI! I'm Mr Meeseeks, look at me!
- Mr Meeseeks: Hi, Mr Meeseeks, I'm Mr Meeseeks, look at me!
- Mr Meeseeks's Mr Meeseeks: Hi!
- Mr Meeseeks: Can you help me get two golf strokes off of Jerry's golf swing?
- Mr Meeseeks's Mr Meeseeks: Can do! I'm Mr Meeseeks! Is he keeping his shoulders square?
- Mr Meeseeks: Well, he's tryin'...
- Stickler Mr Meeseeks: I'm something of a stickler Meeseeks...
- All the Mr Meeseekses: Aw, come on!
- Jerry Smith: Hey, I have a marriage to keep together. Right now my golf swing is more your problem than mine.