Community (TV Series)
VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing (2014)
Danny Pudi: Abed Nadir
Photos
Quotes
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Annie Edison : Anthony said he could fix our cabinets.
Abed Nadir : Rachel used to mop floors when she worked at Kmart.
Rachel : Is this a real conversation, or are we being bugged by the feds?
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Abed Nadir : Rachel and I have been dating for the *equivalent* of a year.
Annie Edison : Oh, really? 'Cause I feel like I've been hearing about that for two years. You can't just microwave a relationship like it's a bean burrito!
Abed Nadir : Annie...
Annie Edison : [interrupting] I ain't livin' with your month-long girlfriend, brah.
Abed Nadir : Well, I ain't livin' with your wack-ass, don't-know-whether-to-keep-cutting-carrots-or-ask-if-he-can-take-a-poop brother!
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Abed Nadir : Rachel and I have been dating for one of your months, but our relationship is 12 times more efficient, so it's really been a year. Our sleep cycles are in synch, we can communicate with our eyebrows, and she knows my Netflix password... Jeff's Netflix password.
Jeff Winger : Damn it. I'm changing that.
Abed Nadir : I changed that.
Jeff Winger : To what?
Abed Nadir : Nice try.
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Rachel : [Abed apologises to Rachel by having someone pour water on his head, re-enacting a movie scene] Abed, this is adorable.
Abed Nadir : Just because it's adorable doesn't mean it's not important.
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Annie Edison : You wanna decide on a roommate with a 1993 Old West-themed VCR game?
Abed Nadir : If Rachel or I win, Rachel moves in. If you or Anthony win, I'll politely surrender and count down the days until he eats me.
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Abed Nadir : [about Annie's brother] I guess my knee-jerk concern would be that he's a Viking and might only use our home as a temporary base before moving inland where lumber is more plentiful.
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Abed Nadir : Although we haven't been saying it, Troy was an important part of our apartment. He kept the peace.
Annie Edison : Yeah. Goin' a little crazy without him. Maybe we need to live with a therapist.
Abed Nadir : Or at least someone crazier than us.
[Britta walks in]
Abed Nadir : ...Let's give Craigslist another try.
Annie Edison : I think Craigslist is the way to go.
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Annie Edison : We want one of you to live with us.
Abed Nadir : Yeah, we're settling it with a game of Pile of Bullets.
Rachel : That is not an explanation that should make anybody want to live here.
[Stands]
Rachel : Abed, I don't like this side of you, and I do *not* like that side of VCR technology. I am glad that it's a dead medium. That was very uncomfortable.
[Storms out]
Anthony : ...I don't really know how girlfriends work, but I don't think you have one anymore.
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Abed Nadir : I'm here to do my third-act apology.
Rachel : Abed, I don't think...
Abed Nadir : Wait. Don't reject it until the whole thing's been served up.
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Annie Edison : We need a roommate. We're broke.
Abed Nadir : I vote for Rachel.
Annie Edison : I vote for Anthony. Flip a coin?
Abed Nadir : No. Coins create parallel timelines.
Annie Edison : Rock, paper, scissors?
Abed Nadir : That's a nine-sided coin.