Community (TV Series)

Cooperative Polygraphy (2014)

Donald Glover: Troy Barnes

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jeff Winger : I know what Pierce is referring to. I have a box of "forgotten items" in my apartment. I happen to be a single male. Visitors leave things.

  Mr. Stone : Is one of your trophies a pair of Ms. Perry's panties?

  Britta Perry : [gasps]  You told me a hawk stole them! You exploited me, and made me believe in a slightly more magical world!

  Abed Nadir : If you want to collect women's underwear, can't you just buy them?

  Jeff Winger : They have to be won in battle.

  Annie Edison : Ugh! Gross!

  Shirley Bennett : [simultaneously]  Jeffrey!

  Troy Barnes : Awesome.

• Jeff Winger : I think we can all agree that the gross thing here is that Pierce is snooping through my stuff.

  Troy Barnes : Not really, Abed and I go through your stuff all the time. Why do you keep bread in the freezer?

  Abed Nadir : And why does your bathroom mirror say "You're special" when you fog it up?

  Jeff Winger : Look, I don't have to answer these... You took a shower?

  Abed Nadir : Yeah.

• Troy Barnes : I've never been to Legoland. I just wanted you guys to think I was cool.

• Mr. Stone : [the group is taking lie detector tests]  You can quit anytime you like, but it should be noted that Mr. Hawthorne's estate is worth over $20,000,000, and only those cleared of his murder can receive their bequeathments.

  Jeff Winger : I'm only gonna say this once. Clearly, Pierce is trying to lure us into a labyrinth of emotional manipulation and strategic instigation. And I think we're all smart enough to know we should quit while we're not ahead.

  Shirley Bennett : I do believe we should...

  Annie Edison : Yes, definitely.

  Troy Barnes : Absolutely.

  Abed Nadir : Yep.

  Britta Perry : Uh huh.

  Mara : They're all lying.

  Shirley Bennett : We all know that, ya judgemental bitch!

• Abed Nadir : Can't look at you right now.

  Troy Barnes : Then you should know I'm crying.

• Troy Barnes : Okay! I did it, okay? I killed Pierce!

  Mara : Lie.

  Troy Barnes : [relieved]  Okay, good. Just making sure.

• Annie Edison : Abed, you were by the coffin for a long time. Are you okay?

  Abed Nadir : I'm okay, although...

  Abed Nadir , Troy Barnes : [singing]  Troy and Abed are in mourning.

  Jeff Winger : Will you guys please stop doing that?

  Annie Edison : I can't believe you did it during your eulogy. So uncomfortable.

  Abed Nadir : I don't think the audience got that were singing "mourning" with a "u."

  Troy Barnes : You were singing mourning with a u? Oh, no.

• Mr. Stone : Mr. Barnes, state your name.

  Troy Barnes : Troy Barnes. D'oh! I meant to say "Butts Carlton."

  Mara : He did mean to say "Butts Carlton."

• Annie Edison : I still don't fully understand the laser lotus theology. So Pierce's body is in the coffin, and we buried it, but this energon pod contains his life... vapor?

  Troy Barnes : Yeah, it's all right here in this incredibly persuasive literature they passed out. Once you reach level 16, you can see the color blurble.

  Shirley Bennett : Of all the ridiculous cartoon nonsense. If there is a blurble, the lord keeps it hidden for a reason.

• Troy Barnes : You made a profile for a fake dude and lured her into an online relationship. He's catfishing you.

  Annie Edison : You're Olympic pole-vaulting hopeful Brent Underjaw?

  Abed Nadir : I noticed whenever you were in a relationship, you hummed a lot and made pancakes in the morning. It wasn't about hurting you. I did what I did in the name of breakfast.

• Troy Barnes : Pierce was a crazy old coot, yeah, but I think he knew something about me that even I didn't know until now. Because he's offering me something I've been searching for my whole life. Millions of dollars. And being a man or whatever he said.

• Troy Barnes : Just a reminder you gotta live life to the fullest. By the time Pierce was my age he had already been fired from 15 jobs. I've only seen two Police Academies. The last two.

  Jeff Winger : Well, he's gone too soon but won't be soon forgotten.

  Mr. Stone : I would say you're quite correct, Mr. Winger.

  Jeff Winger : Who the hell are you?

  Mr. Stone : I am Mr. Stone.

  Troy Barnes : That's easy for you to say... and for us to say.

• Troy Barnes : [Pierce's pod is accidentally opened and his life vapor is getting away]  Oh! Oh! We're losing Pierce! Everyone, quickly!

  [Sucks in air, then strained] 

  Troy Barnes : Someone get a balloon.