Community (TV Series)
Basic Intergluteal Numismatics (2014)
Alison Brie: Annie Edison
Photos
Quotes
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Dean Pelton : You not cool! You unprofessional! I'm punishing you, Jeffrey. Starting next week, you are the new coach of the water polo team.
Jeff Winger , Annie Edison : What?
Dean Pelton : That's right. Every morning, in the water...
[His phone rings and he answers it]
Dean Pelton : Mmm. Craig Pelton, Dean and assistant water polo coach.
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Jeff Winger : These are Dave lyrics.
Annie Edison : Dave?
Jeff Winger : Dave Matthews. Hard-core fans call him Dave.
[Annie gives him a look]
Jeff Winger : Oh, excuse me for being alive in the '90s... and having two ears connected to a heart.
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Annie Edison : Jeff, come on! You know how this school works. We do it, or it doesn't get done. The men on our coins understood that. Maybe the Ass Crack Bandit's point is that we're letting our values slide.
Jeff Winger : Or maybe he's a frat boy coming from the laundromat. The important question is "who cares?"
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Annie Edison : For the record, I tried to get something done about this two years ago.
Dean Pelton : This is not about you, Annie. This is about the school. This is the biggest P.R. crisis to hit Greendale since we held that rally protesting the wrong Korea.
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Jeff Winger : "I am the mad hatter, if hats were butts. I am neither left nor right. I am the space between. To me, you're all like ants marching to class, freaks on parade." I mean, why mix metaphors? Ants don't have butts.
[Beat]
Jeff Winger : Wait a minute.
Annie Edison : Ants DO have butts.
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Jeff Winger : Annie, I took this case because I wanted to help you.
Annie Edison : [Indicates he has his hands on her shulders] Then what is this?
Jeff Winger : It's platonic shoulder holding. Look. Leonard, hello, how are you?
[He puts his hands on Leonard's shoulder's and Leonard leans in for a kiss]
Annie Edison : It's a guy who puts quarters down butt cracks, Jeff. Let's just let it go.
[Jeff walks away and Annie sighs]
Leonard : We can do better.
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Annie Edison : I questioned Guterman. We can cross him off. The first cracking, he was chaperoning Greendale's science dance. The student that attended can vouch for him.
Jeff Winger : I checked out Mrs. Plimpton. Airtight alibi. She's dead.
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Annie Edison : Not going to the dance?
Professor Ian Duncan : I'll go later. Actually, would you mind coming to get me when Britta's drunk?
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Annie Edison : Dean, I think it's a teacher.
Dean Pelton : I beg your what?
Annie Edison : I have evidence that shows...
Dean Pelton : Yeah, and I have evidence that shows I'm not listening.
[Raises one index finger]
Dean Pelton : Exhibit "A,"
[raises the other index finger]
Dean Pelton : exhibit "B."
[puts moth fingers on his ears, covering them]
Dean Pelton : Lalalalalala.
