- Regina: You know how I told you people trust me with their money?
- Bonnie: Yeah?
- Regina: They shouldn't. I embezzled from my clients.
- Christy: Why?
- Bonnie: What kind of question is that?
- Christy: What's a better question?
- Bonnie: How?
- Regina: You gotta be good with math and have a face people trust.
- Bonnie: And the dream dies.
- Christy: [following Regina in the car] Do you think that's her?
- Bonnie: [sees Regina riding on Roscoe's bike] Do I *think* that's *her*?
- [pulls up to her]
- Christy: Hey Regina.
- Regina: Hey.
- Christy: Where're you heading?
- Regina: Canada, gonna start a whole new life there.
- Bonnie: You know, they can extradite you from Canada.
- Regina: Are you sure?
- Bonnie: Ooh trust me, I'm sure.
- Regina: Okay then.
- [stops, gets off bike, turns it around, hops on again]
- Regina: Mexico.
- [rides off, they follow after her]
- Bonnie: [cut to back at the house] One thing's for sure, if I had that much money I damn well would've had an escape plan that didn't involve a tricycle!
- Regina: I'm having financial problems.
- Christy: That's nothing to be ashamed of, I am too, I mean my car's broken and I can't afford to get it fixed, and I have a *lot* of credit card debt.
- Regina: How much?
- Christy: [she and Bonnie both cringe] ... 19... thousand dollars...
- Regina: [laughs] You're cute.
- [seriously]
- Regina: Try three and a half million.
- Regina: The truth is, I think the cops are waiting for me at my house.
- Christy: Things are gonna be great.
- Regina: How can you say that?
- Christy: Oh, not you, I was talking to myself.
- Regina: What?
- Christy: I'm sorry, tonight's about you. But this made me realize my problems are great, I love them, I love my problems!
- Christy: Regina, I just want you to know, I realize how hard this is for you, but I think you're doing great.
- Regina: Really? Because I think I'll snap and kill you and your mother in your sleep.
- Christy: [pause] Well, at least you still have your sense of humor.
- Regina: [deadpan] I don't *have* a sense of humor.
- Christy: [pause] Okay... sleeping with one eye open tonight.
- Bonnie: Let me see the purse.
- [takes out tiny bottles of booze]
- Regina: I entertain a lot.
- Bonnie: [pulls out cigarettes, sniffs] Marijuana?
- Regina: I entertain a lot of musicians.
- [Bonnie pulls out RX pill bottles]
- Regina: Those are for injuries sustained while... entertaining.
- Bonnie: Okay, that takes care of the purse. Now, what's going on with your cleavage?
- Regina: I am a full figured woman!
- Bonnie: Yeah and I wanna motorboat you all night, open up.
- [Regina hands over a small vial]
- Bonnie: Aah, cocaine! How I miss the 80s.
- Christy: What're you talking about? You were doing it 3 years ago.
- Regina: [heading to the bathroom] Can I go now?
- Christy: You are free to urinate.
- Regina: Yeah, like there's anything else I can do in there now.
- Bonnie: [laughing] Okay here's one, one time I was on a high speed chase with the police, on the 5 Freeway, on a stolen lawn mower, in the carpool lane, topless!
- Christy: Okay, I've got one. One time I woke up and went into the kitchen to make my family breakfast, and I realized 'this isn't my house, that's not my family, and what am I doing in Vancouver?' Seriously though, Regina, what made me decide to stop drinking was the horrifying realization that I was turning into my mother.
- Bonnie: [laughs, then looks at her] Hey!
- Christy: Aww, did I hurt your feelings?
- Bonnie: Yes!
- Christy: Oh, well you ruined my life!