- Sean King: I am looking for evidence, stolen auto part
- Edgar Roy: Right place for everything
- Sean King: It's a steering wheel; I want to take it to Rigby, so he can run it for fingerprints
- Edgar Roy: Everything in its right place
- Sean King: What are you not telling me, Edgar?
- Edgar Roy: So many things
- Sean King: Where is the steering wheel, Edgar?
- [Edgar drinks on]
- Sean King: Edgar?
- Edgar Roy: Kitchen cabinet with the other round things
- Sean King: Of course it is
- Michael Wallace: King and Maxwell! The infamous disgraced secret service agents turned private detectives! Why are they here?
- Sean King: We're just here to see our friend Rigby, sir
- Michael Wallace: They are your friends, agent Rigby!
- FBI Agent Frank Rigby: Friends is a strong word
- Michelle Maxwell: Hey, thanks for leaving me partner!
- Sean King: Oh, paperwork is no good for my sciatic back
- Michelle Maxwell: You're not sciatic
- Sean King: No, but it is a good word, isn't it?
- FBI Agent Frank Rigby: Well, I reached my daily limit of King and Maxwell about an hour ago!
- Sean King: We've only been here for 10 minutes
- FBI Agent Frank Rigby: You two, let's go!
- Sean King: You're holding us?
- FBI Agent Frank Rigby: I don't have much choice, but now you actually say it, it sounds like a great idea
- Michelle Maxwell: Well, if you can't let us leave, than at least let us help you
- FBI Agent Frank Rigby: No!
- Michelle Maxwell: Rigby!
- FBI Agent Frank Rigby: Nooo!
- Sean King: We're your friends!
- FBI Agent Frank Rigby: No, you're not!
- Sean King: All your colleges are suspects. Right now we are the only ones you can trust!
- Michelle Maxwell: Rigby, this may come as a shock to you, but we're on the same team
- FBI Agent Frank Rigby: [Thinks this over] Just don't stand too close to me!
- [Rigby was shot by a sniper]
- Michelle Maxwell: Rigby? Rigby?
- [Listens to his breath]
- Michelle Maxwell: He's not breathing!
- [Starts investing Rigby for CPR]
- Michelle Maxwell: A vest? Rigby, you're wearing a vest? Are you even hurt?
- FBI Agent Frank Rigby: Yeah, I got the wind knocked out of me
- Michelle Maxwell: Were going to tell before or after the mouth to mouth? Oh my god, you totally tried to pull a Sandlot on me!
- FBI Agent Frank Rigby: What?
- Michelle Maxwell: The movie? Squints? Wendy Pfeffercorn? Fake drowning? Never mind! Where was my vest?
- FBI Agent Frank Rigby: Standard procedure? Priority targets only
- Sean King: I think I have whiplash
- Michelle Maxwell: He barely tapped us.
- Sean King: You call that a tap?
- Michelle Maxwell: If I had been driving, we wouldn't have got an accident
- Sean King: Whatever helps you sleep at night!
- Michelle Maxwell: Don't start that again
- Sean King: That was Rigby
- Michelle Maxwell: What did he say?
- Sean King: He just wants to thank us for giving Wallace the perfect excuse not to fire him
- Michelle Maxwell: Rigby said that?
- Sean King: That's what he meant. Sounded more like: "I have seen more enough of you two to last me for the rest of my natural born life"