Boy Meets Girl (I) (2014)

Michelle Hendley: Ricky Jones

Quotes 

• Adult Lady 1 : God, the high school in this town, who can survive it?

  [Adult lady 1 and adult lady 2 laugh] 

  Adult Lady 2 : Isn't that the truth? I was fat.

  Adult Lady 1 : I had terrible acne.

  Ricky : And I was a boy, so that sucked.

• Francesca : I'm curious, I mean, does this... does this make me gay?

  Ricky : I don't think so.

  Francesca : Bi-curious?

  Ricky : I don't know.

  Francesca : Well, it has to make me somethin'.

  Ricky : Human?

• Ricky : Is it tight like an asshole...

  Robby : Okay! Okay, google time.

  Ricky : Robby!

  Robby : No, no, no, no, no. Confused gay chat rooms or something. Seriously.

• Ricky : Anyway, I hear it's very, um... it's very complicated. You know, the... vaj... with all its various fluids flowing at different times. There's... theres the period, the wetness during sex, so, uh... okay, so like, I mean, does it start out wet, or-or do I have to get it wet? Well, wait, does SHE get it... wait... How's it get wet?

  Robby : Are you fuckin' retarded right now?

  Ricky : Robby! It's not easy for me to talk about these things. Just tell me.

• Robby : Sometimes likin' someone isn't enough and you gotta break up. Kinda quickly. But it doesn't make me a bad guy.

  Ricky : No, just a guy.

• Sam Jones : I'm not weird because I'm a boy and I like to have my maine guys rescue your barbie dolls and not the other way around?

  Ricky : We girls always have to do the rescuing, regardless of the how it looks but, that's a lesson for another day.

• Ricky : Only gay boys watch those girl shows.

  Robby : Oh, yeah, 'cuz what straight guy would wanna watch hot sisters or best friends mess around with each other half naked and then makin' full-on porn tapes? That is... that is so gay.

• Robby : Hey, I am knowledgeable in the arts of various sexual arenas.

  Ricky : Oh, please. You thank God for "Glee" every day. You'd still think scissoring was a mixed martial arts tap-out hold.

• Ricky : But, uh, I swear to you, Robby Riley, if you smell like fish, I will vomit on you.

• Francesca : Oh, you're so soft. Just like...

  Ricky : A girl?

  Francesca : Yeah.

  [Francesca puts her hand between Ricky's legs] 

  Francesca : And it's so hard, just like a...

  Ricky : A boy?

  Francesca : Yeah.

• Francesca : Oh, god, men. The very thing they want most is the very thing they're most afraid of.

  Ricky : Ain't that the truth.

  Francesca : Commitment.

  Ricky : Dick. Oh, well, I mean that too, but it's a distant second.

  Francesca : I'm sorry. Did you say what I think you just said?

  Ricky : Mmm, that... commitment's a distant second?

  Francesca : No, before that.

  Ricky : That men want dick but are afraid of it.

  Francesca : Okay, apparently you did.

• Ricky : Maybe if one thing leads to another...

  Robby : Yeah.

  Ricky : What's it like? I mean, like, okay, so... what would you, um... what-what would I... well, uh... what's one supposed to do?

• Ricky : It's okay if you want to ignore...

  Robby : [breaks away and stares lovingly into Ricky's eyes]  I don't want to ignore anything about you ever again.

• Robby : Okay, uh, what do you... What do you wanna know?

  Ricky : Okay, so, you know the, um, the...

  Robby : Dick?

  Ricky : On a genetic girl!

  Robby : Oh, the va-jay-jay.

  Ricky : Oh, my God, you do not watch the Kardashians?

  Robby : Loves it.