- Leo Dooley: Chase, there's no way you can beat Adam arm-wrestling. It'd be like a chicken wrestling an alligator. All we hear is a cock-a-doodle-crunch.
- Adam Davenport: He's right, bro. Your spaghetti arms are no match for these meatballs.
- Adam Davenport: [kissing his biceps adoringly] Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mm...
- Chase Davenport: Hey, when you're done kissing your girlfriends, let's do this.
- Adam Davenport: Oh, come on. I wanna be the clever one around here for once.
- Bree Davenport: Yeah, and I wanna convertible made out of diamonds, but that's not gonna happen either.
- Adam Davenport: Oh, guys, calm down! There's a simple solution to this!
- [Bree and Chase look to Adam]
- Adam Davenport: [looking back] Does anyone know what it is?
- Marcus Davenport: [on his cell phone] Dad, it is gonna be so epic when I capture Adam, Bree and Chase. Fine. When WE capture them. Just like when WE forgot my birthday. Oh, I'm sorry. Are YOU angry, or are WE angry?
- [Tasha walks in]
- Eddy: Ew, she's hideously deformed! Look away! Look away!
- Marcus Davenport: Hey, guys. How's it goin'?
- Leo Dooley: Ooo, bundle up, everyone. It just got partly creepy with a hundred percent chance of annoying.
- Adam Davenport: Oof. Am I gonna need my umbrella for that?
- Adam Davenport: [seeing Chase roll a watermelon into the transporter] Hey... Nobody told me we were racing fruit. I'm gettin' my kiwis. Get ready, boys! It's showtime!
- Donald Davenport: What? You put my wife through the teleporter?
- Adam Davenport: [nonchalantly] Enjoy it, dude. Take a day off.
- Tasha Davenport: Thankfully, Adam was smart enough to call me on my cell phone and tell me you guys accidentally teleplanted me.
- Donald Davenport: [correcting her delicately] Well, it's... it's... it's "teleported."
- Tasha Davenport: Tele-someone who cares!