- Haley Dunphy: His name is Zack, and he went to college at a place called Mit.
- Alex Dunphy: MIT.
- Haley Dunphy: I know how to spell it.
- Phil Dunphy: She's like the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
- Cameron Tucker: With cuter hair.
- Haley Dunphy: Stop talking!
- Cameron Tucker: She really is.
- Trish: I just need some time alone.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: In Manny's bedroom?
- Trish: I thought it was a bathroom. I smelled potpourri.
- Phil Dunphy: This house is going to sell. Because who's the best realtor in town?
- Claire Dunphy: Gil Thorpe.
- Phil Dunphy: That's right, and he's bringing potential buyers tomorrow.
- Gil Thorpe: I never joke about business. I joke about golf and Mexicans. I can do that because I'm married to one.