Bob's Burgers (TV Series)

Mother Author Laser Pointer (2023)

John Roberts: Linda Belcher

Quotes 

• Bea : I loved writing those books, but I wrote them years ago when my kids were little. I write dramatic thrillers now, for adults.

  Linda Belcher : Books for adults? I guess that's a thing.

  Bea : Yes, yes it is. My new book is about a middle-aged librarian who learns mixed martial arts to infiltrate the mob and break up a rare books crime ring.

  Linda Belcher : Yeah, that sounds good. I didn't really listen to what you said it was about, but Bea, the "Snail and Newt" books were magical!

• Linda Belcher : So, you live nearby?

  Bea : No, Connecticut.

  Linda Belcher : Ooh, Connecticut! Did you know it's spelled "Connect-icut"? Weird, huh?

  Bea : Uh, yeah.

• Bea : My son gave me a fancy phone, but I never remember to charge it.

  Linda Belcher : I'm like that with toilets; I never remember to flush 'em.

  Teddy : Yeah, technology, right?

• [Over end credits] 

  Linda Belcher : What about Snail and Newt try stand-up? Oh, oh! Snail and Newt get fun haircuts - two tight perms. Snail and Newt go on tour with Guns N' Roses. Snail and Newt start a fight club, Snail and Newt go to Buffalo. Oh, Snail and Newt eat too much mac and cheese, and then they can't poop! Oh, Snail and Newt go to couples' counselling and they work it all out!

• Linda Belcher : I know I went overboard, it's just that I thought that if you could write a book, another book, we could be back on our bed, all - all snuggling and crying and laughing again, and maybe no-one has to grow up and leave and go to college. I know, it doesn't make sense, I know.

  Bob Belcher : Lin, if it helps, I'm pretty sure at least two of our kids are gonna have to live at home for... a long time.