Community (TV Series)
Alternative History of the German Invasion (2013)
Donald Glover: Troy Barnes
Photos
Quotes
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Jeff Winger : I really am Hitler.
Shirley Bennett : Yeah.
Pierce Hawthorne : So it's just decided? No vote or anything.
Troy Barnes : I hate this. I wish there was a way that we could make it up to people.
Jeff Winger : That's it! We need to make reparations. We have to start giving back, because Greendale has given us so much. It gave us the study room. And that study room is our home. But our home is more than those four walls. And our family is more than the seven of us. It's all of Greendale. And everyone deserves to have what we have.
[after they finished the study room makeovers]
Jeff Winger : What do you know? Greendale just got slightly better.
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Jeff Winger : Uh, guys? This is our study room. Please leave, and take that mushroom cloud of drakkar with you.
Karl : Why must he hurt so with his vords? He's like a less funny Hans Rickles.
Jeff Winger : I'm not here to argue, Anglojerkels. Beat it!
Troy Barnes : Ohhh! Someone must have changed the channel to USA, 'cause I just watched a burn notice... Who's Angela Jerkels?
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Abed Nadir : Look, 12 o'clock. The "History of Ice Cream" class is letting out.
Garrett Lambert : It's as informative as it is delicious!
Britta Perry : That class should've been ours. I hear the final is a sundae bar.
Troy Barnes : I don't get history. If I wanted to know what happened in Europe a long time ago, I'd watch Game of Thrones.
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Security Guard : There a problem here?
Jeff Winger : Yeah, there's a problem. These dussle-dorks won't leave our study room.
Troy Barnes : Nice!
[quietly to Annie]
Troy Barnes : I don't understand any of these puns. I think I need to learn history.
Security Guard : Do you have a sign-in sheet?
Jeff Winger : You're asking for our papers?
[security nods in response]
Jeff Winger : I thought this was America, not Arizona.
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Dean Pelton : Greendale's a forgiving place.
Annie Edison : It really is.
Dean Pelton : Please keep that in mind the next 20 seconds. Remember that people can "Chang".
Jeff Winger : [This phrasing causes concern] People can what?
Ben Chang : [Enters] Hi, I'm Kevin.
Jeff Winger , Annie Edison , Abed Nadir , Shirley Bennett , Britta Perry , Troy Barnes , Pierce Hawthorne : [All screaming] AHHHHHH!
Dean Pelton : He has Changnesia.
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Britta Perry : Hate to say it, but this is what happens when a group of people blindly follows a charismatic, golden-throated leader.
Jeff Winger : Are you actually comparing me to Hitler?
[Abed, Troy and Britta all speak at once]
Britta Perry : Just a little.
Troy Barnes : Yeah...
Abed Nadir : There are similarities.
Pierce Hawthorne : Hang on. Nobody's even willing to consider that I might be the Hitler of this group?
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Professor Cornwallis : [enters lunch room where study group is sitting at a booth] Ah! There you people are. I believe we have something to discuss.
Jeff Winger : Oh, my God. You clever British bastard. You set this whole thing up to teach us a lesson.
Professor Cornwallis : What?
Jeff Winger : Making the school pretend to hate us, to show us that one man's hero is another man's villain. Of course! We aren't Nazis.
[group laughter]
Jeff Winger : I tip my cap to you, sir. Lesson learned.
Professor Cornwallis : Are you actually suggesting that a Professor at Greendale would set up an elaborate ruse just to teach seven students a lesson?
Jeff Winger , Annie Edison , Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir , Shirley Bennett , Britta Perry , Pierce Hawthorne : [overlapping acknowledgement] Uh, yes. Yeah. Yes. That's a Wednesday.
Professor Cornwallis : Oh, my God. I've made a terrible mistake coming here.
Annie Edison : So this wasn't part of the class? Then why are you here?
Professor Cornwallis : Because you had a test today, and you all missed it! *Fs* for everyone!
Shirley Bennett : Oh.
Professor Cornwallis : Maybe it's not too late to get out of my contract.
[exits]
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Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir : [vocalizing] Beep, boop, bink, bing, bow!
Troy Barnes : And you know what that sound is.
Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir : It's the Troy and Abed Podcast.
Abed Nadir : Sponsored by Shirley's Sandwiches, home of the fried chicken skin wrap.
Troy Barnes : Is it inside? Is it outside? You find out. Okay, our guest today is from Germany, Europe.
Abed Nadir : Karl, guten tag. How are you doing?
Karl : Sehr gut.
Abed Nadir : Great. Now's the part of the show where we get real. Friendship, loyalty, betrayal, redemption.
Karl : Is this an apology?
Abed Nadir : Yes. And for being a guest on the show today, we want you to have this.
Troy Barnes : It's a gift certificate to Shirley's Sandwiches, home of the triple-fried monte cristo. We challenge you to taste the bread.
Karl : This coupon is a $5 bill.
Abed Nadir : Well, that's all the time we have today. For Troy Barnes, I'm Abed Nadir.
Troy Barnes : And for Abed Nadir, I'm Troy Barnes.
Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir : And we're out.
Abed Nadir : Thanks so much for doing this.
Karl : So will you be on my podcast tomorrow?
Troy Barnes : We've got a thing.
Abed Nadir : Beep, boop, bow!
[presses key on laptop, smooth jazz begins playing]