Animal Control (TV Series)

Rabbits and Pythons (2023)

Joel McHale: Frank Shaw

Photos 

Quotes 

• Frank Shaw : [flatly]  Give me those forms.

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : [hopefully]  You'll be my emergency contact?

  Frank Shaw : [resignedly]  Give them to me. Don't get hurt 'cause I'm pulling the plug for anything.

• Amit Patel : [while attacked by a bunny rabbit]  Oh! Get off me, you mangy bitch!

  Frank Shaw : Hey Shred, you're always trying to be smarter. Look up "hoisted on one's own petard" and it will literally be a picture of this.

• Victoria Sands : Okay, I think we're done here. I need to know who ate my chocolate bar. Shred, check the waste baskets now. Thanks. Great. Uh, those chocolate bars were laced with high-grade hallucinogenics. Have you seen double rainbow? Someone's about to be 10 times more like that guy than that guy was.

  Dr. Summers : Hey. Did Emily make it back?

  Frank Shaw : [rises akimbo]  Uh... I'm not sure.

  Dr. Summers : I was gonna give her a ride but she ran off after her presentation.

  Victoria Sands : Um... can this wait? It's just, we're in the middle of a bit of a crisis.

  Dr. Summers : It's just weird because her speech went so well. She was funny, talking off the cuff... she even sang at one point.

  Victoria Sands : [epiphany]  Oh God.

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : [enters carrying the contents of a waste basket]  Emily ate the chocolate.

  Victoria Sands : All of it?

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : It looks that way, yeah.

  Amit Patel : [checks his desk drawer]  Code red. My thin mints are missing, gone without a trace. She's binging.

  Dolores Stubb : [sashays in smugly]  Actually, I threw the cookies out. You'll thank me later.

  Amit Patel : [incensed]  Actually, I will not thank you. I will not thank you, Delores!

• Jimmy Shaw : [knocking]  Oh, look what the cat dragged in.

  Frank Shaw : [sarcastically]  It's nice to see you too, Dad. Look, um... I had a near-death experience today and, I don't know, I don't wanna die with things left unsaid.

  Jimmy Shaw : [indifferently]  I'm listening.

  Frank Shaw : Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you're a terrible father who never had my back and I want you to rot in hell.

  [pausing for response] 

  Frank Shaw : So that's it. Those are the two items.

  [turns to walk away] 

  Jimmy Shaw : Well look, uh... you came this far, at least come in and have a beer.

  Frank Shaw : [incredulously]  Did you just hear what I said?

  Jimmy Shaw : Yeah. Bad father and, uh... the rotting thing. You want a beer or not?

  Frank Shaw : What kind you got?

  Jimmy Shaw : Rainier. I've been drinking the same beer since I was 12. You too good for Rainier now?

  Frank Shaw : I've always been too good for Rainier.

  [enters the house] 

  Frank Shaw : What are you, like, 100 now?

  [closes door] 

• Frank Shaw : I've never felt more alive!

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : Dude, that snake had plans for you.

  Frank Shaw : A brush with death and an encounter with a world-class athlete.

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : Okay. That's obviously a little bit hurtful. I came in 7th at Pyeongchang, but I know it's a niche sport.

  Frank Shaw : Listen, don't get needy but you were pretty good back there.

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : Really?

  Frank Shaw : You're already being needy.

• Victoria Sands : Guys, who ate one of my chocolate bars? There were three and now there's two, and they were hidden way at the back with my frickin' name on it.

  Frank Shaw : If your name's on it, that's sacrosanct. You can look that word up, Shred.

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : [under his breath]  Sacrosanct...

• Fred 'Shred' Taylor : What is gout?

  Frank Shaw : Are you a 15th century British monarch?

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : No.

  Frank Shaw : You don't have it.

• Frank Shaw : [admiratively]  Holy crap.

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : It's huge.

  [grasps Frank's arm] 

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : Frank, have you ever dealt with something like this before?

  Frank Shaw : No. And I can't tell you how much, but something that's not nothing just slipped out of me and into my underwear.

• Fred 'Shred' Taylor : So, who's your emergency contact?

  Frank Shaw : My father.

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : Aww, I didn't know you were close with your dad.

  Frank Shaw : [capriciously]  We're not. I hate that son of a bitch.

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : Then why did you choose him?

  Frank Shaw : [bemusedly]  Well, if something happens to me, he's on the hook. With any luck, I'll be a vegetable requiring 24-hour care.

• Fred 'Shred' Taylor : Who's going to step up and be my emergency contact?

  Frank Shaw : Don't you have family you can ask?

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : My dad died and my mom moved to Florida, but she's got a sweet condo on the beach and she says any time I wanna bring down my emergency contact for a little sand and sea, she has a room waiting.

  Frank Shaw : Oh... well, I hope you and that guy without boundaries have fun with your mom.

• Fred 'Shred' Taylor : Hey, is it okay if I put you down as my emergency contact?

  Frank Shaw : Well, since I'm the guy most likely to harm you, it seems like a conflict of interest.

• AM Dispatch : Truck 12. Resident reporting problem with rabbits. 907 Maple Lane.

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : Question, have subjects been observed as... wascaly?

  [self-satisfied chuckle] 

  AM Dispatch : [irritatedly]  Are you going or not?

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : Yes. We'll hop right on over.

  [quietly chuckles] 

  Frank Shaw : [provoked]  That's it, get out.

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : What?

  Frank Shaw : We talked about this, two lame jokes before coffee, get out.

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : Wait, really? You were serious about that?

  Frank Shaw : [austerely]  As a heart attack.

  [reaches across cab, opens passenger door] 

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : [Frank shoves Shred out of the truck]  Hey. Come on. You're taking this too far, Frank.

  Fred 'Shred' Taylor : [standing in the street as truck drives off]  You can come back! I learned my lesson! No jokes before coffee!

  [faintly in the distance] 

• Frank Shaw : Donut Wednesday, Delores. It's a sacred tradition. Handed down to us by the Romans. You defiled this holy tabernacle with your cru d'été.

  Amit Patel : [chimes-in]  This is our tabernacle, Delores.

  Jimmy Shaw : Okay. This office has a serious case of the late morning sugar blues and someone had to intervene.

  Frank Shaw : How dare you act unilaterally. It's America. It's donuts.

• Templeton Dudge : Looks like I have an email that is stuck in my outbox. Boom!

  [phone alerts chiming] 

  Templeton Dudge : Fixed it. Enjoy.

  Emily Price : A gleefully vindictive message from Officer Templeton Dutch.

  Frank Shaw : That jerk got a hold of our body-cam footage.

  Emily Price : Oh, he did know about the rabbits.

  Amit Patel : Ugh.

  Jimmy Shaw : Look at you guys running away from the li'l rabbits!

  Amit Patel : We were regrouping!