Community (TV Series)
Intro to Knots (2013)
Yvette Nicole Brown: Shirley Bennett
Photos
Quotes
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Jeff Winger : Annie, what is this?
Annie Edison : Oh, I know we said no gifts, but I couldn't resist.
Jeff Winger : You realise you've just put your friends in a very awkward position. A gift creates obligation.
Annie Edison : I don't see it that way.
Jeff Winger : Well, I do, and I think the others will too.
Shirley Bennett : [knocks on the door and comes in] Merry Christmas! I know we said no gifts, but I couldn't resist.
Jeff Winger : Oh, who couldn't have seen that coming?
Shirley Bennett : Oh, Annie, I love what you did with the place.
Annie Edison : It's a work in progress.
Troy Barnes : [he and Britta come in] Good tidings, fellow Christmas celebrators. And to all a good wassailing.
Britta Perry : I know we said no gifts, but we couldn't resist.
Jeff Winger : There is a real problem with resistance in this group.
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Annie Edison : You were full of scotch when things took a dark turn. We'd all heard about your troubles with co-eds back at Oxford, but it was becoming all too real. As you lumbered around the room, we had to assume you were coming after me or Britta.
Shirley Bennett : Ah-ah-ahem!
Annie Edison : Or Shirley, who I didn't mention earlier, because she intimidates you sexually.
Shirley Bennett : Thank you.
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Jeff Winger : I tanked my section. I knew you guys would all work hard, so I just coasted. Tom Waits was-...
Annie Edison : [Punches him] You cost me Valedictorian!
Shirley Bennett : He cost *me* Valedictorian. That was my punch.
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Professor Cornwallis : Enough. It's time to stop arsing about and get serious. So let's hear it from the one person who needs that "A" the most and can't possibly abide by an "F," the one person on pace to become class Valedictorian.
Annie Edison : I would never turn against the group.
Professor Cornwallis : I'm not talking about you, Miss Edison.
Annie Edison : What? Abed?
[Abed shrugs]
Annie Edison : Jeff?
[Jeff glares]
Troy Barnes : [blithely] Is it me?
Annie Edison : [incredulously] Oh, my God, *Britta*?
Shirley Bennett : [indignantly] First of all, it's me, and, second of all, you put Britta ahead of me?
Britta Perry : [aggrievedly] None taken.
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Jeff Winger : It's Macallan Eighteen. I like to serve it neat if that's okay with you?
Professor Cornwallis : [sarcastically] What, in America? Don't you mix it with cherry pop or Monterey Jack cheese?
Shirley Bennett : Professor, these are melon slices with ham.
Annie Edison : And asparagus wrapped in salmon.
Professor Cornwallis : [subtle sarcasm] I see somebody's been attempting tapas.
Jeff Winger : Oh, that would be me. I think cuisine is like a window into history. I believe it was the hun...
Professor Cornwallis : [interrupts] Actually, you know, I was talking to the ladies.
[follows Annie and Shirley]
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Professor Cornwallis : Why in God's name would I leave?
[all scream]
Professor Cornwallis : This is just getting interesting. Now, one of you untied me. I wonder who it was. Who is the Benedict Arnold, the true hero of this story?
Annie Edison : Oh, no, what's gonna happen when we find out who betrayed us?
Shirley Bennett : [suspiciously] I wonder why you're so scared.
Annie Edison : It wasn't me.
Troy Barnes : Can we just say a ghost did it again?
Britta Perry : We're gonna find out who did it when we get our grade.
Professor Cornwallis : No, we'll have to find out now. Otherwise, the lesson isn't complete.
Jeff Winger : But the lesson is complete, professor. You know what you taught us tonight? That, yes, empires fall, but we're no empire. We're just a bunch of flawed, selfish people. And that's not our weakness. It's our strength. The one thing that we can count on at any given moment is that the six of us are paying for a mistake made by one of us. And that means, at any given moment, one of us is screwing up so badly, that he or she is gonna forgive whoever screws up next. Now I'm gonna do something that Octavian never would... yeah, I read the book. I'm gonna say that whoever untied the professor... I don't give a crap. Because whoever it was, I know it was some flawed, selfish, weak, hopeless soul like me.
Jeff Winger : Exactly what the betrayer would say.
