- Sal: Sorry you couldn't come to the wedding, it was no kids.
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett: It's okay, I'll go to your next one.
- Sal: Wow.
- Cameron Tucker: She just means when she's not a kid anymore.
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett: She knows what I mean.
- Sal: I don't like you.
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett: [whispering] I'll get over it.
- Claire Dunphy: Raising a kid is like sending a rocket ship to the moon. You spend the early years in constant contact, and then one day, around the teenage years, they go around the dark side and they're gone. And all you can do is wait for that faint signal that says they're coming back.
- Phil Dunphy: Please, you're in the hands of a master. I think I know how to pick up a fourteen-year old girl... for you!
- Haley Dunphy: I have better things to do than listen to Electric Light Dorkestra.
- Claire Dunphy: Hayley, she's your sister!
- Alex Dunphy: Actually, that's the name of our band.
- Jay Pritchett: Uh-oh. We have to go back.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: What is it?
- Jay Pritchett: There's more pictures of nudes in here, and they're of Daliya.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: You mean those aren't my boobs?
- Jay Pritchett: This isn't Nude Descending a Staircase, this is a nude vacuuming a staircase!