Dave's Old Porn (TV Series)
Retro Orgy Night (2012)
Dave Attell: Self - Host
Photos
Quotes
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Adrianne Curry : Thanks for having me, considering I haven't done nothing great in the community of pornography, but...
Dave Attell : Oh, please, you've launched a million loads. Guys love you.
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Dave Attell : Look at these dirty, filthy hippies. Ugh, disgusting.
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Dave Attell : What do you think of this guy? He's blond, but his beard is... dark.
Sean Michaels : It, his beard is... is... wow.
Dave Attell : Something scared him, or he's from Finland.
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Asa Akira : [Watching 'Little French Maid'] The acting's better.
Dave Attell : You think?
Asa Akira : Yeah, I think so.
Dave Attell : Well I guess they had more time to act since they weren't shaving their boxes, right?
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Dave Attell : These guys all look Norwegian. And by that I mean: I think they're bi.
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Adrianne Curry : They're, they're gonna double penetrate here.
Dave Attell : Three-eyed turtle. Every hole. Nice.
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Asa Akira : Like, I feel so bad for that you'll never know how a DP feels.
Dave Attell : What? I might go to prison.
Asa Akira : No, but you don't have a vagina.
Dave Attell : Oh. Yet...
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Adrianne Curry : It feels like I'm watching my dad have sex.
Dave Attell : Oh wow, fast forward.
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Dave Attell : What did you say, the primordial ooze?
Kayden Kross : Yes.
Dave Attell : Someone goes to school online. Holy... watch out, professor!
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Sean Michaels : [choosing between a European and an American orgy scene] For me, the, the, the European orgy, by far.
Dave Attell : Dude, you're being too nice. 'Cause you know, this orgy is followed by a very long political discussion.
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Kayden Kross : I do that in the orgies, actually: I can tell who was on the dick last.
Dave Attell : Wow, you can smell it? Hm.
Jesse Jane : Hm-hm.
Kayden Kross : It's not a bad thing.
Jesse Jane : Everybody has a distinct smell.
Kayden Kross : Everybody has a smell.
Dave Attell : Really?
Jesse Jane : They do.
Dave Attell : Oh, nice.
Kayden Kross : Yeah, It's like a fingerprint.
Dave Attell : We gotta get you guys working at airport security. You guys have like these amazing like sixth, seventh sense.
Kayden Kross : We're like detectives.
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Asa Akira : That's something I've learned in porn.
Dave Attell : Yeah?
Asa Akira : That there's, there's a little bit more in there.
Dave Attell : There's always a little more.
Asa Akira : Yeah.
Dave Attell : Yeah. And of course, the jizz at the end, those are the slower kids.