Community (TV Series)

Basic Human Anatomy (2013)

Joel McHale: Jeff Winger

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jeff Winger : Dean, I need you.

  Dean Pelton : [Gasps]  It's happening. Shut the door.

• Jeff Winger : Oh, no, let's go find this DVD. By all means, let's waste more of my life.

• Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir : I wish I had my own body back!

  [They hold onto the Freaky Friday DVD and go around in circles] 

  Jeff Winger : [switching the light on and off]  Sorry. Routine light-switch check.

• Abed Nadir : Freaky Friday. Oh, Troy, you are so thoughtful. I wish I had the capacity for sentimentality like you do.

  Troy Barnes : Me? I wish I was more like you. No emotional hang-ups, endless cool adventures. You have it so easy.

  Abed Nadir : No, you do, Troy.

  Troy Barnes : No, you do, Abed.

  [both grab the Freaky Friday cover] 

  Abed Nadir , Troy Barnes : I wish I could switch places with you for just one day.

  [both start to go in circles and make weird sounds while the lighting starts to switch on and off, and then they fall over dramatically] 

  Shirley Bennett : Oh...

  Jerry : [appearing]  Sorry. Routine light-switch check.

  Troy Barnes : I thought that would work.

  Jeff Winger : Yeah, we're all floored it didn't.

• Dean Pelton : Guys, I need to apologize for my behavior today. When I switched bodies with Jeffrey...

  Jeff Winger : Nope.

  Dean Pelton : I thought I knew what it would be like to have Jeffrey inside of me...

  Jeff Winger : That did not happen.

  Dean Pelton : But as it turns out, having Jeffrey inside of me...

  Jeff Winger : Nope again.

  Dean Pelton : ...Only brought out the worst in me. Which is to say, having Jeffrey inside of me...

  Jeff Winger : No one was inside of anyone!

  Dean Pelton : ...Was wrong... to have Jeffrey inside of me.

  Jeff Winger : Shut up!

  Dean Pelton : So I'm sorry. Now, if you'll excuse me, I scolded Leonard today, and according to Greendale bylaws, I now have to grant him three wishes.

• Britta Perry : I have to go talk to Troy.

  Jeff Winger : Yes, please. Tell your boyfriend and his boyfriend that playtime is over. Annie, Shirley, go find out what's keeping Leonard on top. And Abed won't switch back until we get that DVD. I'll deal with that. And then, we are meeting back here and getting up into some puffy paint and doing our doable, passable banners!

  Pierce Hawthorne : What do you want me to do?

  Jeff Winger : Stay alive. Or don't.

  Pierce Hawthorne : I'm on it!

• Annie Edison : Jeff, we have to take this seriously.

  Jeff Winger : This assignment? This, we have to take seriously? "Pick any moment from history and tell me about it. "Be as creative as you want. Or not. I don't care. Professor Cornwaaa--" He didn't even finish signing his name.

• Jerry the Janitor : [Dressed in a costume period, engaging in some sort of a play with other janitors]  Yes, Lord Brickell, I was indeed down by the stables.

  [to Jeff, who has just entered the room] 

  Jerry the Janitor : Damn, man. You ever heard of knocking?

  Jeff Winger : Yup, just heard it, when I did it a second ago.

  Crazy Schmidt : They've seen too much! Let's kill them!

  Jerry the Janitor : Stand down, crazy Schmidt. What we're doing here is none of their business.

  [to Jeff] 

  Jerry the Janitor : We're having murder mystery night during the day.

  Jeff Winger : I was fine with "None of your business."

• Jeff Winger : I wish I had the courage to commit to a bit like you, Abed, or to a relationship, like Troy. Committing is hard, because we're all scared of what happens when we find out we committed to the wrong thing, but there's no shame in what Troy's done. He put himself out there and he really tried, and that proves he cares.

• Dean Pelton : [Deep, as Jeff]  Oh, you've got to be kidding me. I'm you?

  Jeff Winger : What? No! You're not.

  Dean Pelton : Of course. It's fricking Friday.

  Jeff Winger : There's no justification to be made, because it can't happen, weirdo.

  Dean Pelton : Whatever, Dean. Now, please leave your office so I can start to work on your weird body that I'm now stuck in!

  [Starts mime texting] 

  Jeff Winger : You're not even holding a phone!

• Jeff Winger : Why don't I pitch you a remake of a remake, where my magic mouth tells you drop the act because Abed isn't even here. Then, you cough up the DVD and we go tell Abed you're back in your own bodies, so we can go do doable and passable banners.

  Troy Barnes : First, that's a terrible movie.