Modern Family (TV Series)
Arrested (2012)
Shelley Long: DeDe Pritchett
Photos
Quotes
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Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Making a child is the easy part. The hard part is *everything* that comes after. Keeping them safe...
Cameron Tucker : Well, you can tell your mother that my scones are appropriately crunchy on the outside while delightfully dense on the ins-
[Kids all scream as he swerves the car]
Cameron Tucker : Saw that. Saw it.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Making sacrifices for them...
Jay Pritchett : Hey, kid. I'll take you to that poetry reading thing tonight.
Manny Delgado : Actually, DeDe and I were just talking. She's a huge fan of spoken word...
DeDe Pritchett : ...and I would love to escort him.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Please.
Jay Pritchett : Go.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : And standing by them, even when they let you down.
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Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Ay, Jay, it's so weird. The moment I came through the door, the baby started kicking like crazy, like it's trying to claw its way out of me.
[Sees DeDe]
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Bruja!
DeDe Pritchett : Oh, my God.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : What is she doing here?
DeDe Pritchett : You're going to have a baby? I don't believe it.
Jay Pritchett : [Gets between DeDe and Gloria] Uh, DeDe, don't get all crazy about this.
[DeDe bursts out laughing]
Jay Pritchett : What's happening?
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Her brain. It snapped.
DeDe Pritchett : Oh! You're going to be a father again, at your age. And here you were thinking you would just sail off into the sunset with your beautiful young wife, not a care in the world. This is fantastic! I think my uterus just fixed itself!
Jay Pritchett : [to Gloria] Don't ask.
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DeDe Pritchett : I don't remember him changing a single diaper.
Jay Pritchett : What's that supposed to mean? You can't even remember killing your cat.
DeDe Pritchett : Oh, I don't think I did. But I'm sure that you never changed any diapers.
Jay Pritchett : It's just that you were better at it than I was.
DeDe Pritchett : Oh, so I guess I was better at late-night feedings and cleaning spit-up, too.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : You know what? He wouldn't help me pick up a stroller or a blanket or a bouncy chair.
DeDe Pritchett : Oh, well, I had to get that stuff on my own. He was just useless.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : You poor thing. Makes all sense now why you became so crazy.
DeDe Pritchett : Right?
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Listen to me, Jay Pritchett. If you don't change your useless ways, you're gonna make me crazy, too! Like DeDe!
Jay Pritchett : Gloria. Gloria!
[Sarcastically to DeDe]
Jay Pritchett : I just love our little visits.
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Jay Pritchett : [In side interview] Turns out Gloria being pregnant somehow made DeDe think of her as less trophy, more human. And all the animosity she had for Gloria just wafted up in the air...
DeDe Pritchett : I hope you're hiring a nanny, because this one won't lift a finger.
Jay Pritchett : [Back in interview] -and landed right on top of me.
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Manny Delgado : Mom, I'm home!
DeDe Pritchett : Oh, hi, Manny.
Manny Delgado : DeDe. How are you?
DeDe Pritchett : Good.
Manny Delgado : DeDe, it's me. How are you really?
DeDe Pritchett : I'm on a better path.
Manny Delgado : It's a journey.
DeDe Pritchett : Thank you for asking, Manny. And thank you for your letters.
Manny Delgado : It's a lost art. No one puts pen to paper anymore.
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DeDe Pritchett : Good morning, Jay. Namaste.
Jay Pritchett : Let's not do this.
DeDe Pritchett : Oh, fine, silly. I'm on my way to a retreat in Ojai, and since I'm passing through town, I thought I'd pick up that photo album.
Jay Pritchett : You know, it's really not a good time.
DeDe Pritchett : [Pleading] Oh, please!
Jay Pritchett : All right. I'll meet you on the street. Drive by slow with the window open.
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Jay Pritchett : Hello, DeDe. How you doing?
DeDe Pritchett : Oh, mostly fine. I have something called a telescoping uterus. Long story.
Jay Pritchett : Aw, jeez.
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Jay Pritchett : This is beautiful. Look at you two, having a conversation like old friends.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Well, it's easier to talk to her when she's not choking me.
DeDe Pritchett : I'm sorry. I went through a bad patch there when I was trying to find the right balance with my meds. I recently discovered my cat Frances buried in the backyard. I'm just praying that she died first.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Maybe you can dogsit for the shoe-eater one day.
[Points at Stella while Jay covers her ears]
DeDe Pritchett : Oh, well, she is a... funny-looking thing.
Jay Pritchett : [to Stella] Don't listen to them. You're beautiful.