Modern Family (TV Series)

When a Tree Falls (2012)

Rico Rodriguez: Manny Delgado

Quotes 

• Manny Delgado : Look, I'm Mexico, again. Doesn't anyone care that I'm not from Mexico?

  Luke Dunphy : You keep saying that, but we've never seen a birth certificate.

• Jay Pritchett : Gloria needs watching. She's got a serious case of pregnancy brain. Last week, I found a bar of soap in the fridge and a stick of butter in the shower. I walked around all day smelling like a bucket of popcorn.

  Manny Delgado : Better than the toast I ate.

  Jay Pritchett : Yet you ate the second piece.

• Jay Pritchett : And for God's sake, change out of those wingtips. You're a kid, you're not Nixon on the beach.

  Manny Delgado : Fine. I'll put on my sporty shoes. Where are they?

  Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : They're still in the box. And don't forget to take out the paper before you put them on, okay?

  Jay Pritchett : And they're called sneakers!

• Phil Dunphy : Sorry about that. I went a little nuts there. I don't know what happened.

  Jay Pritchett : I do. I was ragging on you in front of your friends.

  Phil Dunphy : Oh, yeah.

  Jay Pritchett : Sorry about that. I couldn't think of anything else to say.

  Phil Dunphy : Why not?

  Jay Pritchett : I got 20, 25 years on those guys. We got nothing in common. It's only gonna get worse. I mean, what's it gonna be like with the new kid in ten years?

  Phil Dunphy : Oh, my goodness. You're insecure and vulnerable. This is the cutest thing I've ever seen.

  Jay Pritchett : Shut up.

  Phil Dunphy : Who's a shy bunny?

  Jay Pritchett : You wanna go one more round, without the gloves?

  Phil Dunphy : I'm just playing around, Jay. I don't care how old you are. I could sit and talk to you all day. Those guys really liked you, too.

  Jay Pritchett : I don't care about that. Did they? Even Jerry?

  Phil Dunphy : Yes.

  Jay Pritchett : Well, maybe you're right. I mean, Manny didn't wanna come, and look at him. Looks like he's having a great time.

  Manny Delgado : [entertaining a group of kids nearby]  So then Luke's dad grabs the taser from me, and he was like...

  [imitating Phil getting tased] 

  Phil Dunphy : No. No! That's not how it happened.

• Phil Dunphy : Hey, guys, this is Jay, my father-in-law. Manny's stepdad.

  Bill : Hey, what's up, Jay-Lo?

  Jay Pritchett : Okay, guys, I'll see you later.

  Manny Delgado : What's the matter, Jay? Afraid to step outside your comfort zone?

  Jay Pritchett : I will send you back to Mexico.

• Luke Dunphy : [playing tug-of-war]  Come on, guys! You're killing us!

  Doug : Where the heck is Mexico?

  Manny Delgado : Good news, gentlemen! I found another rope. If we double-dutch, everyone wins.

• Manny Delgado : Gentlemen, you wanna know about the real ultimate frisbee? Walk with one balanced on your head for 50 meters. It is a measure of poise, balance, and posture.

  Doug : Let's just whip the frisbees at each other as hard as we can and see who quits first.

  Luke Dunphy : Frisbee smash. Awesome! Let's go!

  Manny Delgado : Oh, my god, I'm Sisyphus.

  Luke Dunphy : A big one!

• Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Manny, it's a beautiful day outside. Go on. Enjoy your Dougy-lympics.

  Jay Pritchett : You don't have to win a medal. Just have fun.

  Manny Delgado : Doug finishes with the most medals no matter what. Plus, I think he only invites me because he likes to match skin color to nation. I know that's why Alan Yan gets invited.

• Jay Pritchett : Manny, while we're young!

  Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : He doesn't want to go. That's why he's taking so long with the primping.

  Jay Pritchett : A boy his age should do exactly zero primping.

  [Manny comes downstairs] 

  Jay Pritchett : You ready?

  Manny Delgado : Not in the least.

  Jay Pritchett : [sarcastic]  That's the spirit.

• Manny Delgado : This kid in my class, Doug Brooks, has a sports-themed birthday party every year. All boys. All sports. All day. He calls it the Doug-lympics, which might make sense if he did it every four years, or if his name was Al. Let's just say nothing about it works.