Modern Family (TV Series)
Snip (2012)
Jocelyn Ayanna: Receptionist
Quotes
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Receptionist : Is there a Phil Dunphy here?
Jay Pritchett : I'm his father-in-law. He's gonna need a moment. Is there anything I could fill out for him?
Receptionist : Not unless you want the vasectomy.
Jay Pritchett : Where were you six months ago?
Receptionist : Barbados. Now I really need to speak with the patient.
Jay Pritchett : Got it. Phil, get over here. Phil?
[Turns around and sees he's gone]
Patient : He just ran ou-
[Groans in pain]
Jay Pritchett : You know what could do wonders for your business here? A recovery room.
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Jay Pritchett : What's the matter? Are you nervous?
Phil Dunphy : I'm not nervous. May-maybe you're the one who's nervous. You ever think about that?
Jay Pritchett : Okay.
Phil Dunphy : [laughing nervously] "Nervous."
Jay Pritchett : Okay.
Phil Dunphy : Okay.
Jay Pritchett : Because if you've had a change of heart...
Phil Dunphy : I haven't had a change of heart. Maybe you had a change of heart, but I'm totally pumped. Pump, pump, pumped. Pump up the jam in my pumped-up... kicks. Pumpty-dumpty. Pumplestiltskin.
Jay Pritchett : Because they do this kind of thing all the time, and in about an hour, you're gonna be wanting to ride a horse.
[Awkward pause as another patient stumbles by, groaning in pain]
Receptionist : Me. Dunphy, can you please come to the desk?
Jay Pritchett : [Phil doesn't move] What's the plan, Phil?
Phil Dunphy : Just sit here. I'm just gonna sit - I'm gonna sit a bit. Sitting pretty.