Modern Family (TV Series)

Snip (2012)

Sarah Hyland: Haley Dunphy

Quotes 

• Luke Dunphy : He's having an ass-ectomy. I hear things.

  Haley Dunphy : You're getting your tonsils out?

  Alex Dunphy : Ugh! This family needs a dumbass-ectomy.

• Haley Dunphy : Oh, my god, what is that outfit? Are you going Goth? You still sleep with a stuffed panda.

  Alex Dunphy : Don't you have a fraternity to pass out in?

• Haley Dunphy : You didn't send the little green jacket?

  Claire Dunphy : Honey, I am not doing this again. It took me an hour to mail that package before. I have post-post office traumatic stress disorder.

  Haley Dunphy : Stop smiling. It's not that clever.

  Claire Dunphy : It is clever, and there's no way I'm going back there today.

  Haley Dunphy : Oh, my god! I hate you so much!

  Claire Dunphy : [Phone beeps]  Oh, sorry, that's your father. Gotta go!

  Phil Dunphy : Claire, where are you?

  Claire Dunphy : Oh, honey, I just had a hellish experience at the post office. I have post-post office traumatic stress disorder.

  Phil Dunphy : Nailed it.

• Haley Dunphy : Mom shaved Skylar's head? That's hilarious!

  Alex Dunphy : It's not gonna be so fun the next time she bothers to show up for school.

  Haley Dunphy : [Claire enters behind Alex, but stays hidden]  What do you care? You know you don't even like her.

  Alex Dunphy : I don't. Skylar's awful. Mom actually did me a huge favor.

  Haley Dunphy : Oh, my God, do not tell her that. She will never shut up.

  Alex Dunphy : I know. Remember when you admitted that you didn't hate that James Taylor concert she dragged you to?

  Haley Dunphy : She was unbearable! 'I told you!'

  Haley Dunphy , Alex Dunphy : 'He's got the voice of an angel!'

  [Both laugh] 

  Haley Dunphy : She's such a nerd. I kind of miss her, though.