Community (TV Series)
Curriculum Unavailable (2012)
Gillian Jacobs: Britta Perry
Photos
Quotes
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Jeff Winger : What do you mean, Greendale doesn't exist?
Dr. Heidi : Well, there is a place called Greendale and you all spent three years there, but it was not a community college. These memories that you people have been sharing are a shared psychosis. You were patients there together, you were released together, and I'm alarmed to see that you are now relapsing together.
Annie Edison : No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is not real. You're lying.
Dr. Heidi : Search your mind for the real memories. Try to look past the trauma you've been blocking out.
Pierce Hawthorne : What trauma?
Dr. Heidi : You all came to this community college after your lives had fractured. Pill addiction, failed legal career, broken marriage, lost scholarship, old.
Britta Perry : Enough! I don't want to hear mine. And, if we were going to fabricate a delusion, why would we fabricate a community college?
Dr. Heidi : Ah, yes, this fantastical community college where everything that happens is unbelievably ridiculous and it all revolves around you as a group. The same reason anyone plunges into psychosis, miss Perry. It was a mentally-compatible alternative to your grim reality.
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Britta Perry : Did anybody bring anything that isn't poison? I need to eat natural, organic foods, or I'm never gonna get rid of this hangover.
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Troy Barnes : Uh, guys, while we were remembering Chang is crazy, the fake doctor sneaked away.
Jeff Winger : Oh, crap!
Annie Edison : What?
Annie Edison : There goes our only chance of clearing our names.
Britta Perry : You guys, forget about us. The Dean has been kidnapped. He's out there somewhere, alone and cold and most likely trying to cobble together a sexy Patty Hearst costume.
Jeff Winger : Britta's right. Wait, what?
Shirley Bennett : We need to rescue the Dean.
Pierce Hawthorne : We need to get back to that school.
Abed Nadir : And we definitely never need to do another paintball.
Annie Edison , Britta Perry , Shirley Bennett : Yeah.
Jeff Winger : See, therapy does work. We're cured.
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Dr. Heidi : If Abed is as sick as you all say, then I have no...
Britta Perry : Wait a minute. Nobody in this room gets to define sick.
Dr. Heidi : I do. I'm a psychiatrist. Any kind of doctor can really.
Britta Perry : Really?
Dr. Heidi : Yes.
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Britta Perry : How long does peyote last? Just asking for a friend.
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Dr. Heidi : Talk to me about crazy-town banana pants.
Jeff Winger : Look, we're just saying it's been a crazy year for everybody. Who among us hasn't had the odd banana in his or her pants, right?
Britta Perry : I have.
[laughter]
