Community (TV Series)
Curriculum Unavailable (2012)
Alison Brie: Annie Edison
Photos
Quotes
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Jeff Winger : What do you mean, Greendale doesn't exist?
Dr. Heidi : Well, there is a place called Greendale and you all spent three years there, but it was not a community college. These memories that you people have been sharing are a shared psychosis. You were patients there together, you were released together, and I'm alarmed to see that you are now relapsing together.
Annie Edison : No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is not real. You're lying.
Dr. Heidi : Search your mind for the real memories. Try to look past the trauma you've been blocking out.
Pierce Hawthorne : What trauma?
Dr. Heidi : You all came to this community college after your lives had fractured. Pill addiction, failed legal career, broken marriage, lost scholarship, old.
Britta Perry : Enough! I don't want to hear mine. And, if we were going to fabricate a delusion, why would we fabricate a community college?
Dr. Heidi : Ah, yes, this fantastical community college where everything that happens is unbelievably ridiculous and it all revolves around you as a group. The same reason anyone plunges into psychosis, miss Perry. It was a mentally-compatible alternative to your grim reality.
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Annie Edison : [singing] Troy and Abed and Annie in the morning!
Troy Barnes : What are you doing?
Annie Edison : Nothing.
Annie Edison , Troy Barnes : Nothing my ass.
[Gestures to the empty space around]
Annie Edison , Troy Barnes : What are all these cameras doing here?
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Officer Cackowski : Found your friend going through the dumpster outside the administration building in Greendale again.
Abed Nadir : [as Inspector Spacetime] This cadet could use a lesson in intergalactic protocol.
Annie Edison : It's okay, officer. He's just playing a character from TV.
Officer Cackowski : Oh, yes, I'm very familiar with Inspector Spacetime. You think a guy becomes a cop because his prom night was a dream? If this were comic-con, I'd take a bullet for that kid.
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Dr. Heidi : All of this behavior started after you were expelled?
Annie Edison : There may have been a ramp-up.
[abrupt cut to group study room f]
Abed Nadir : [moaning as custodian manually resets an analog clock back one hour]
Troy Barnes : It's okay, buddy. Just a few more minutes, and we're good until spring, okay?
Abed Nadir : But it doesn't make any sense.
Annie Edison : Think of it this way. We get the hour back later in the year.
Troy Barnes : Yeah.
Abed Nadir : [confused, shrieks wide-eyed with terror]
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Troy Barnes : Uh, guys, while we were remembering Chang is crazy, the fake doctor sneaked away.
Jeff Winger : Oh, crap!
Annie Edison : What?
Annie Edison : There goes our only chance of clearing our names.
Britta Perry : You guys, forget about us. The Dean has been kidnapped. He's out there somewhere, alone and cold and most likely trying to cobble together a sexy Patty Hearst costume.
Jeff Winger : Britta's right. Wait, what?
Shirley Bennett : We need to rescue the Dean.
Pierce Hawthorne : We need to get back to that school.
Abed Nadir : And we definitely never need to do another paintball.
Annie Edison , Britta Perry , Shirley Bennett : Yeah.
Jeff Winger : See, therapy does work. We're cured.
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Annie Edison : Where's Abed? Have you seen Abed?
[Knock on door. Troy goes to open it]
Troy Barnes : He's probably out getting something really cool for the dinner.
[He opens the door]
Troy Barnes : See? Cool. Abed brought delicious police.
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Annie Edison : Chang... What are you doing?
Ben Chang : I'm predicting future crimes.
Garrett Lambert : [Garrett, who is in a tub, electrodes attached to his head, sneezes] Now I'm sick.
Ben Chang : See, you said that would happen. You are a pre-cog!
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Annie Edison : Troy, is that a casserole?
Troy Barnes : It's bagel bites in a deconstructed hot pocket reduction with a doritos glaze.
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Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir : [harmonizing] Troy and Abed in the morning.
[quietly]
Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir : Nightsss.
Troy Barnes : [normal voice] Welcome back, all you night owls.
Abed Nadir : [dials out] Troy, why don't we open up the phone lines?
Troy Barnes : Talk to us, lonely hearts.
Abed Nadir : We got Jeff W. calling.
Jeff Winger : [awakened] Hello?
Troy Barnes : Hey, Jeff, what's your question?
Jeff Winger : Who is this?
Troy Barnes : Great question. We're us.
Jeff Winger : [irritated] You guys, it's 3:00 in the morning. I'm trying to sleep.
Abed Nadir : I'm sorry to hear that, Jeff. Why don't you stay on the line and we'll get your information.
Troy Barnes : Yeah, we'll get you the help you need.
Abed Nadir : Our next caller's Annie E. What's on your mind tonight, Annie?
Annie Edison : Hey, guys, long time, first time, love the show.
Troy Barnes : Aw, appreciate ya. How can we help?
Annie Edison : [bangs on the adjoining wall and yells emphatically] You can shut up and go to sleep!
Abed Nadir : [quietly] Well, Jacks and Jills, that's about all the time we have tonight.
Troy Barnes : [quietly] Yeah, until next time, may your dreams be sweet and your nightmares be "spooky monster" scary and not "grandma died" scary.
Troy Barnes , Abed Nadir : [quietly harmonizing] Troy and Abed in the morning
Troy Barnes : [loud whisper] Nightsss.
