- Brother Geraghty: [Oliver's new Catholic school classmates welcome him, albeit unenthusiastically] Maybe as a 'thank you', you could lead us all in morning prayer.
- Oliver: [as the class members bow their heads, he whispers apologetically to the teacher] I think... I think I'm Jewish.
- Brother Geraghty: [to Oliver] OK, good to know.
- Brother Geraghty: [addressing the whole class] Oliver thinks he's Jewish.
- random members of the class: So am I... I'm Buddhist... There is no God...
- [now everyone speaks at once, sharing their religious preferences]
- Brother Geraghty: Yes, you get the idea. We celebrate all the religions of the world in this room, Oliver. I'm a Catholic, which is the best of all the religions, really, because we have the most rules. And the best clothes. But among us, there is also a Buddhist, agnostic, we have a Baptist, and we have a "I don't know", which seems to be the fastest growing religion in the world. And now, we have "I think I'm Jewish", which is a new one for the class, Oliver, so thanks for that.
- [first lines]
- Vincent: So this Irish guy knocks on this lady's door and says, you know, "Have you got any, uh... Any, uh... work for me?" And she says, "Um, well, you now, as a matter of fact, you could paint the porch." 'Bout two hours later, the guy comes back and says, "I've finished, ma'am, but just for your information, it's not a porch, it's a BMW."
- [bar patrons stunned]
- Maggie: [about Oliver's book] God, that's depressing.
- Oliver: No, it's not. The tree was meant to give, so to be able to give everything and have nothing left is the best life the tree could ever have.
- Maggie: Well, your father must think I'm a tree.
- Oliver: Why would he think that?
- Maggie: Nothing. Nothing.
- Judge Reynolds: [at a custody hearing, the judge is asking questions about Oliver's activities with Vin that his mother was unaware of] Daka Paramova... are you aware of her occupation?
- Maggie: [whispering, to her attorney] She, she works for Vince.
- Maggie: [to Oliver] She works for Vince, right?
- Oliver: [whispering to his mother] She's the lady of the night.
- Maggie: [astonished, still whispering] What? Do you know what that means?
- Oliver: [with total naïveté, trying to be helpful] She works at night?
- Maggie: [later, leaving the courthouse, Mom is livid] I guess gambling in a race track is like a Math class, huh? You can learn how to bet?
- Oliver: The odds.
- Maggie: A bar, I guess that could fall under Current Events, right?
- Oliver: [still with complete sincerity and naïveté] More like Social Studies?
- Maggie: It's a strip club hooker that I can seem to get my head around.
- Oliver: Commerce? Biology?
- Maggie: Just stop talking.
- Maggie: [shows tree diagram to Vincent] Okay.
- Vincent: Money.
- Maggie: No, it's a... it's a T... it's a tree.
- Vincent: You owe me money. Yeah, you broke my tree.
- Maggie: Alright.
- [flips to next diagram card]
- Maggie: Yeah, I know I... Lets...
- Vincent: Yeah, you broke my fence too.
- Maggie: [looks at the card and gets surprised to see a fence] Okay, what are you... planning these?
- [flips to next card facing herself and then shows to Vincent]
- Maggie: Here, this should be familiar.
- Vincent: Cactus.
- Maggie: No, prick. Big prick.
- [flips to next card]