Lewis Lovhaug: Linkara, Dr. Linksano, Harvey Finevoice

Quotes 

• Linkara : Last time on the "Battle for Bludhaven" review... Chemo...

  [pronounced "KEE-mo"] 

  Linkara : ... or possibly, Chemo...

  [pronounced "KEM-mo"] 

  Linkara : ... depending on how you pronounce it... Personally, I always thought "CHEE-mo" just sounded better... .was dropped on the city of Bludhaven, and the government tossed everybody out because of radioactive stuff. Instead of being sensible and relocating everything they find in the city, the government decided to erect a giant wall around the city and forbid anyone from going in, then for some reason decided to start using radiation to mutate meta-humans and other people into becoming an army for them, even though they've done that, like, six times before in the DC Universe, and it never, ever works out! While Firebrand whines and moans about the government in every other sentence he makes, a group of Atomic Knights tries to get the remaining people still in the city out of it while discovering that the atomic thing that the government found is in fact Captain Atom. However, considering Captain Atom is still inside of his containment suit, there should be no radiation leak at all, so let's pile on yet another thing that doesn't make any sense into this series. So let's dig into "Battle for Bludhaven #3" and "#4" and see just how much dumber this insanity can get.

• Linkara : Okay, I think I get this comic now. You know, some people, when they're dissatisfied with the government, will become activists or lobbyists or start political blogs expressing their discontent. Other people inject half-assed political messages into their creative works...

  [gets angry] 

  Linkara : ... that are as *flatly two-dimensional AS THE PAPER THEY'RE PRINTED ON!* It's very difficult to have a "message" that you want to convey in this kind of story, because you come across just as nuts as the people you're attempting to demonize. It's especially ill-advised to inject this kind of ideology into a story that features an astronaut fetus and a group of superpowered beings formerly known as The Force of July.

• Linkara : Hey, you remember how "Watchmen" was about how evil the alternate universe Nixon administration was and how the government was full of evil people for perpetuating the Cold War?

  [laughs, then becomes upset] 

  Linkara : OF COURSE YOU DON'T! BECAUSE THAT'S NOT WHAT "WATCHMEN" WAS ABOUT! Any political messages you take away from that book are the things that the individual reader interprets about the story, and the broader themes of power, whether the end justifies the means, and what's morally acceptable for a greater good!

  [goes back to "Battle for Bludhaven"] 

  Linkara : In *this* comic, however, our choices are: evil dumbasses that are evil for evil's sake, crazed wannabe freedom fighter who thinks the government is putting mind-control drugs in the water supply, or indecisive teenagers. And that's another reason why "Watchmen" is heralded by many as the Citizen Kane of comic books, to the point where the mere idea of prequels to it is controversial... For the record, I'm not reading any of those prequels... and "Battle for Bludhaven" is remembered as that dumbass comic that came out after "Infinite Crisis" that tries to make parallels to Hurricane Katrina and the Iraq War, despite a completely different context and all the subtlety of a sledgehammer to the face! With the word "subtle" written on the sledgehammer!

• Linkara : The original printed version of Issue 3, like "Silent Hill: Dead/Alive", also included a text recap of the previous two issues, as well as head shots of all the characters in this thing. Just look at that! That's thirty character portraits right there! You know, at least in something like "Crisis on Infinite Earths" has a good reason why it has a cast of hundreds. It's supposed to be a massive, monumental event that affects everybody, so it makes sense that we'll see glimpses of some characters, but this is "Battle for Bludhaven"! Does anybody actually care about the names of the Nuclear Legion members? Hell, we're gonna get more characters than the ones seen here!