Criminal Minds (TV Series)
Snake Eyes (2012)
Kirsten Vangsness: Penelope Garcia
Quotes
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[last lines]
Derek Morgan : Hi, Miss Thing. Enough is enough. It's time for you and me to have a little sit-down. What's going on with you? Half the time I call, I get your voicemail. When I do get you, I don't get even a little bit of sass coming my way. Now, what's the deal? Hello!
Penelope Garcia : Okay. Look. I get it that men and women are different and Venus and Mars and all that stuff, but I do not understand how you...
Derek Morgan : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, pump your brakes. What is this about?
Penelope Garcia : You were in my shower at 7:00 in the morning.
Derek Morgan : Because I shower at 7:00 in the morning. Baby, you had a little too much to drink the other night. You called me to come over and keep you company.
Penelope Garcia : I know. I remember that, but...
Derek Morgan : Okay, what happened between us was popcorn, and a movie on TV, which you fell asleep in the middle of, by the way.
Penelope Garcia : So, you slept on the...
Derek Morgan : Couch.
Penelope Garcia : Yes, you did. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you, God, for maintaining the integrity of my most beloved of friendships, and from now on, I promise only mostly the purest of mineral water will cross these lips.
Kevin Lynch : [enters] Hey, plum sauce, are you coming?
Penelope Garcia : Yes. I'll be right there.
Kevin Lynch : Hey, Derek.
Derek Morgan : Hey, what's up, man?
Penelope Garcia : Since the fight, we have decided to have a standing date every Tuesday night.
Derek Morgan : Good luck with that with this job. You got a great guy out there. You know that, right?
Penelope Garcia : I know. What does a girl do when she has two great guys?
Derek Morgan : She doesn't pour that extra glass of wine.
Penelope Garcia : Yeah. Okay, love you, bye.
Derek Morgan : Plum sauce?
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Penelope Garcia : [picks up a phone] If this is a sales call on a Sunday morning...
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : Settle. It's me, JJ. I tried your cell. Listen, something's come up. You need to get down to the office pronto.
Penelope Garcia : Oh, you are kidding.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : I know. I wish psychopathic killers would be a little more respectful of our weekends, too, but what are you gonna do? Is everything okay?
Penelope Garcia : No. Kevin and I got in a fight last night, and to self-soothe, I drank a lot of wine, and, JJ, you know I can't drink wine. Why did I drink so much wine?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : You'll be fine.
Penelope Garcia : No, I don't know. 'Cause right now, everything is blurring. Oh, my God. My hair hurts. How is that possible? He's coming out of the shower. I hate confrontation. It was such a fight. I hate confrontation.
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : Then don't confront. Just kiss, make up, and get your butt over here.
Penelope Garcia : [ding-dong] What is this, Grand Central Station?
[knock, knock]
Penelope Garcia : Oh, God.
[opens the door to find...]
Penelope Garcia : Kevin.
Kevin Lynch : I am so sorry about last night. I should not have stormed out like that.
Penelope Garcia : You stormed out?
Kevin Lynch : Yeah.
Penelope Garcia : You stormed out all last night?
Kevin Lynch : Yeah. What's...
[Garcia closes the door and sees Morgan]
Derek Morgan : Hey. You see we gotta go in, right?
Penelope Garcia : Yes. Yes. JJ just called me, too. Let's go. My things. This is mine and this is mine and this is yours. This is mine. See you there.
[opens the door, to Kevin]
Penelope Garcia : Hey, let's go.
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Penelope Garcia : And that's why we were able to get a match on his prints so fast.
Derek Morgan : You've always been fast, baby girl.
Penelope Garcia : [freezes] Eh, yeah. Got to go!
[hangs up]
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Penelope Garcia : [Rushes in late] Sorry, sorry
[meeting goes on]
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau : [whispers] How's the head?
Penelope Garcia : [whispers back] Not all the aspirins in all the pharmacies...