Peep Show (TV Series)

The William Morris Years (2015)

David Mitchell: Mark Corrigan

Quotes 

• Alan Johnson : Hey, hey, hey, Marco. How you going, good buddy?

  Mark Corrigan : Yeah, great actually old pal.

  Alan Johnson : Oh really? Cause I thought you might be feeling like a guy who's just walked into a high-class restaurant with a sausage dog on the end of his dick.

  Mark Corrigan : Uh, no?

  Alan Johnson : I got something up on my visual display unit this morning, Mark. I thought it was a high-definition photo of some dog shit. Then I took a closer look, and I realised it was actually your sales record.

  Mark Corrigan : Oh, right.

  Alan Johnson : I pulled strings to get you in, Mark. If you look like a sausage dog fucker, then I look like a sausage dog fucker. Do you get me?

  Mark Corrigan : [voiceover]  Got to get my dick out of the dog.

• Jeremy Usborne : [discussing how they're going to kick Jerry out of Mark's apartment]  What about going Litvinenko?

  Mark Corrigan : Kill him? With polonium?

  Jeremy Usborne : Not full Litvinenko. Just a little bit of something debilitating in his pasta each night. Grind him down, weaken him, till he's all pathetic, and you can just

  [motions scooping Jerry up with his left hand] 

  Jeremy Usborne : scoop him up like a sick whippet and

  [motions throwing Jerry away] 

  Jeremy Usborne : dump him.

  Mark Corrigan : Um...

  Jeremy Usborne : You might quite like tending him as he grows weaker and weaker.

  Mark Corrigan : [acting out their scenario]  "Here's your tea, Jerry. God, you must get better soon."

  Jeremy Usborne : [acting out their scenario]  "Oh, do sit up, Jerry, while I spoon you some more of this slightly silvery porridge."

  Mark Corrigan , Jeremy Usborne : [both laugh mischievously] 

  Jeremy Usborne : Should I keep my voice down?

  Mark Corrigan : No, he's an irritatingly sound sleeper. Ear plugs and eye mask, the full blot.

  Jeremy Usborne : Well, we could start by just... moving his stuff out.

  Mark Corrigan : No. No, we couldn't. Could we?

  Jeremy Usborne : [looks at Mark mischieviously]