- Lumiere: So you're dining with a beast / That doesn't mean you shouldn't feast!
- Cogsworth: Let us handle reservations / Give your taste buds a sensation!
- Defeccachi: Have your fill, eat more still / There's no need to slow your pace / After dinner, you'll be thinner / Once you sit down on my face!
- Lumiere: Have some seconds? / Eat a lot!
- Defeccachi: Then come meet your chamberpot...
- Lumiere: We are trying to serve dinner!
- Defeccachi: What, Defeccachi doesn't get to sing along? I'm a person too! Defeccachi didn't ask be a chamberpot!
- Lumiere: None of us asked to be stuck in the forms of household items! But people are eating!
- Defeccachi: So, Defeccachi only useful after dinner, eh? I get to live a solitary existence punctuated by people pooping on my...
- Lumiere: I said people are eating!
- [Defeccachi runs off crying]
- Lumiere: Okay, let's just get through this dinner, so the Beast can bang this bitch... Belle? Where did Belle go?
- [cut to Belle sitting on Defeccachi, pooping loudly]
- Defeccachi: Ring a bell, sound a horn! / Looks like someone's eaten corn!
- Belle: [annoyed] Does everything have to be a fucking song?
- Mr. Phillipson: Holy fuck! You're a duck!
- Della Duck: That's right, baby! Now why don't you ruffle my feathers?
- Mr. Phillipson: Why are you a duck? Oh my God!
- Della Duck: I'm what you ordered.
- Mr. Phillipson: I did NOT order a duck!
- Della Duck: I'm not sure how they could have misunderstood that request.
- Mr. Phillipson: Oh gee, I wonder what word an escort service might have mistaken for "duck" on a bad cellphone connection?
- Della Duck: Fine. But you are still going to have to pay me for your time.
- Mr. Phillipson: Ah, I don't know why I need to pay to NOT fuck a cartoon duck! Normally, not fucking a fucking duck is fucking free!
- Della Duck: FUCK YOU!
- [dies in a shootout with the police]
- Huey Duck: Uncle Donald, when can we go home?
- Louie Duck: Yeah, we really miss our mom.
- Dewey Duck: When can we see her again?
- Donald Duck: I don't know, boys. I just don't know.