Last Man Standing (TV Series)

Last Baby Proof Standing (2011)

Molly Ephraim: Mandy Baxter

Quotes 

• Mike Baxter : If you want money, maybe you should do what other people do.

  Mandy Baxter : Get my own reality show. Dad, I'm trying.

  Mike Baxter : How about a part-time job?

  Mandy Baxter : [laughing]  Job. Come on.

  [she stops] 

  Mandy Baxter : Oh, my god. Are we poor?

  Mike Baxter : You are.

  [indicating himself and Vanessa] 

  Mike Baxter : We're doing very well.

• Mandy Baxter : I still don't get why I have to have a job. it's so unfair!

  Vanessa Baxter : Oh, you're gonna be selling clothes. You love clothes, and you get to work at the mall. You love the mall.

  Eve Baxter : I think it's good you're getting a job. You treat dad like an ATM.

  Mike Baxter : Yes, and I'm not an ATM. You know how I know? I only speak English.

  Eve Baxter : [laughing, she and Mike high-five]  That's a good one, dad.

  Mike Baxter : Ah, here's $20.

  Mandy Baxter : Whoa. Hey, why doesn't she have to work?

  Eve Baxter : 'Cause I don't need money. I've got everything I want.

  [handing the bill back to Mike] 

  Eve Baxter : In fact, here, dad.

  Mike Baxter : I insist.

  Eve Baxter : Wouldn't even know what to do with it.

  Mandy Baxter : [storming out in frustration]  Ugh!

  Eve Baxter : I'll take that 20 now.

  Mike Baxter : You earned it.

• [first lines] 

  Mike Baxter : Well, beautiful wife, beautiful night, great cup of coffee at the end of the workday.

  Vanessa Baxter : Nice.

  Mike Baxter : Couldn't be better.

  Mandy Baxter : [from inside the house]  Dad!

  Mike Baxter : You never wanna get too happy. They sense it, then they just crush it.

• Mandy Baxter : I'm meeting Travis at the mall. Can I have some money for Java Jimmy's?

  Mike Baxter : Coffee? We got coffee right here. French press. Here.

  [handing her his mug] 

  Mike Baxter : Taste Colombia's second-largest cash crop.

  Mandy Baxter : [taking a sip, she spits it out and dumps the rest into a flower pot]  Ugh! God, that's horrible.

  Vanessa Baxter : Hey!

  Mandy Baxter : No. No.

  Mike Baxter : That was my coffee.

• Mandy Baxter : So can I have $20, or...

  Mike Baxter : $20 for a cup of coffee?

  Mandy Baxter : I'm a huge tipper. It's kind of my thing. I-I just feel so sorry for anybody that has to wear an apron.

  Vanessa Baxter : You ask me why I put rum in here? This is why.

• Vanessa Baxter : You sure about this?

  Mike Baxter : She's sixteen.

  Mandy Baxter : [leaving]  I'm seventeen, dad.

  Mike Baxter : Seventeen. She should... she should think about getting her a job.

  Vanessa Baxter : Well, it's just easier to give her money.

  Mike Baxter : Well, we just can't be lazy with our kids. We're better than that.

  Vanessa Baxter : Are we?

• Mike Baxter : Aren't you supposed to be at work?

  Mandy Baxter : Yeah, it's my lunch break. Hey, can you front me $500?

  Mike Baxter : [laughing it off]  No.

  [leading her into his office and shutting the door] 

  Mike Baxter : Get in there.

  Mandy Baxter : There was a workplace accident.

  Mike Baxter : What happened?

  Mandy Baxter : I accidentally used my employee discount to buy a lot of cute clothes.

  Mike Baxter : This isn't the right job for you.

  Mandy Baxter : That's so weird. That's exactly what my manager said.