Community (TV Series)
Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps (2011)
Danny Pudi: Abed Nadir
Photos
Quotes
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Abed Nadir : [Abed is narrating his Halloween scary story] Here we are, a log cabin I rented so we could be intimate in safety, because it's not the 50s, so we don't have to park a car and neck at inspiration point.
Britta Perry : That makes sense. I'm turned on by how logical you are.
Abed Nadir : I'm comforted by your shiny hair and facial symmetry. Well, I just brushed my teeth, so this would be the optimal time to kiss.
[They kiss]
Abed Nadir : Enjoyable. Soft lips. Just the right level of moisture.
Britta Perry : Would you like to do it again?
Abed Nadir : No. We should listen to the news on this radio. I brought it as a cautionary measure, because this cabin is within walking distance of the local insane asylum.
Britta Perry : Oh, is that why you were able to rent it at such a reasonable rate?
Abed Nadir : Yes.
Britta Perry : I hope you're as fertile as I am tonight.
Abed Nadir : More.
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Troy Barnes : [Narrating his Halloween scary story] Hello? Is there anyone here? I need help.
[Pierce appears, wearing a medical robe, his hair like Einstein's]
Troy Barnes : Oh, thank God. An old doctor. Me and my partner are top gun fighter pilots, the best of the best.
Abed Nadir : [Weakly] Pew pew pew.
Troy Barnes : Our F-15 went down in the woods.
Pierce Hawthorne : I thought I heard something awesome out there. Please, come in, for first aids and what have you.
[Offers them a glass of green liquid]
Troy Barnes : Mmm, drinks from a stranger. So medical.
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Britta Perry : We learned an important lesson tonight. We should never make the Britta of Britta-ing each other's feelings.
Pierce Hawthorne : You're using it wrong.
Jeff Winger : Wow. You Britta'd "Britta'd."
Abed Nadir : Yeah, way to pull an Abed.
Shirley Bennett : I don't get it.
Jeff Winger : Shirley, don't Pierce.
Pierce Hawthorne : I don't get it.
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Jeff Winger : [Annie giggles at Jeff's racer costume] What? I'm one of the "Fast and Furious" guys.
Abed Nadir : Which one?
Jeff Winger : Oh, I don't know. I don't watch that shallow crap. I just pick a costume girls will like.
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Britta Perry : And the woman was screaming and screaming and the man got killed. Abed?
Abed Nadir : Yep?
Britta Perry : How did that story make you feel?
Abed Nadir : Embarrassed.
Britta Perry : That's an odd reaction.
[all disagreeing]
Troy Barnes : Seems fair.
Britta Perry : What embarrassed you about it?
Abed Nadir : I didn't care about the characters.
Britta Perry : Didn't care about themmm?
[Britta looks at Jeff]
Britta Perry : [Jeff rolls his eyes]
Abed Nadir : They were stupid. They deliberately put themselves in danger, and, when they were warned about it, the guy got out of the car.
Britta Perry : Do you believe because he was stupid he deserved to die?
Pierce Hawthorne : What the hell kind of party is this?
Abed Nadir : I suppose, from a creative standpoint, some characters deserve to die. Ones that lack common sense or even basic survival instinct. Your story's not scary because the characters are making choices the audience wouldn't make. Plus, you need a smarter lead.
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Britta Perry : Is this your test or what?
Jeff Winger : How should I know? It's just a bunch of bubbles.
Annie Edison : Wait! Give me those. Why are the scores on the bottoms of the sheets? They should... Britta, look at the arrow. You ran these through the machine upside-down.
Abed Nadir : She Britta'd it.
Britta Perry : Whatever.
[snatches test sheet]
Britta Perry : I'll run them through again. And you guys are gonna stop using my name to mean, "making a tiny and understandable mistake."
[nearing tears]
