- Dan Humphrey: Go to your interview, I'll meet you at your apartment, and we'll open it there.
- Blair Waldorf: That is much more civilized. Unlike your hair, Humphrey. You look like a muppet.
- Serena Van Der Woodsen: Stop worrying about your mom. CeCe won't tell a soul you're here, and she promised to call my mom to make sure she doesn't say anything either.
- Charlie Rhodes: Well, even if that's true, what about Blair or Dan or everyone else? I don't think they'd be thrilled to find out that the psychotic freak is back in town.
- Serena Van Der Woodsen: Please. This place is a mecca for psychotic freaks.
- Gossip Girl: Oh, B... Your refusal to find out who the father is, has caused you to make one mother of a scene.
- Diana Payne: [simply to clear the office so that nobody would overhear naughty goings-on:] Excuse me, can I have everybody's attention?
- [reporters in bullpen all look up]
- Diana Payne: You're all fired!
- [shock all around]
- Diana Payne: Don't bother cleaning out your desks. Good luck!
- [pulls down blind so that she and Nate can have privacy]