- Rebecca Welton: [bursts into gym] Oi! Kent! Get your hairy arse into my office. Now!
- [turns around and leaves gym]
- Roy Kent: [silence, followed by players chuckling, whistling, and saying ooh!] Every single one of your knows my arse isn't hairy. Yet none of you spoke up. And I will never forgive you.
- [leaves gym]
- Isaac McAdoo: He's right. We're cowards.
- [silence]
- Isaac McAdoo: Now, if she was talking about Richard's butt...
- Isaac McAdoo: Is top or bottom sex positions or sleeping arrangements?
- Colin Hughes: Sexual positions. Unless bunk beds are involved. Then it's both.
- Isaac McAdoo: Would you ever shag a woman?
- Colin Hughes: No. I'm gay.
- Isaac McAdoo: I know, but what if you had to?
- Colin Hughes: 1967 Raquel Welch.
- Isaac McAdoo: My man. Who's the fittest guy on the team?
- Colin Hughes: I won't tell you, and you'd never guess.
- Isaac McAdoo: Bumbercatch.
- Colin Hughes: [surprised] Yes!
- Isaac McAdoo: How about team showers? How does that work?
- Colin Hughes: I keep my head down, and I think of global warming.
- Isaac McAdoo: Yeah, well, if I had to shower with a bunch of girls all the time, I'd defo get boners.
- Colin Hughes: [laughs] I love you, boyo.
- [pause]
- Colin Hughes: You can't say it, can you?
- Isaac McAdoo: No... but you know I do, yeah?
- Colin Hughes: [answers the door] Hey.
- Isaac McAdoo: You lied to me. For years.
- [hesitates]
- Isaac McAdoo: What is it about me that made me think you couldn't tell me?
- Colin Hughes: No, it was nothing to do with you. It was about me. I was 99% sure that you'd support me. But the 1% chance that you wouldn't scared the shit out of me.
- Isaac McAdoo: [pause] I don't know how you did it. I can't keep a secret for shit.
- Colin Hughes: I know. Another reason I didn't tell you. I mean, I hid it from people for years, and the second you find out, I didn't last a month.
- [both men laugh slightly]
- Isaac McAdoo: I'm sorry, bruv. You gonna tell everyone now?
- Colin Hughes: No. The team knows, and that's enough for me.
- Isaac McAdoo: And no one's gonna say shit. I promise.
- [turns to leave]
- Colin Hughes: Wanna come in?
- Isaac McAdoo: Yeah, all right.
- Rebecca Welton: What do you want, Roy? Hm? What do you really want?
- Roy Kent: I just want to be left alone.
- Rebecca Welton: Oh bullshit, Roy! You want way more than that! You're just so convinced that you don't deserve anything good in your life that you'd rather eat a bowl of shit soup and then complain about the portions. Get out of your own way, man. Cause this whole woe is me thing you've got going on is just fucking ponderous.
- Leslie Higgins: The press is ready for you, Ted. It's a big one.
- Ted Lasso: That's what that lady from the American Office said.
- [This is a reference to the oft repeated phrase "That's what she said" from the American version of The Office.]