- Ted Lasso: Right now, Dr. Romance is probably getting ready to pop the question on top of the Eiffel Tower, the most romantic friggin' place in the world!
- Rebecca Welton: Oh, please. The Eiffel Tower is just a lamppost with a publicist.
- Rebecca Welton: Is there anything I can do to help?
- Keeley Jones: Restructure society so women aren't constantly sexualized while simultaneously being crucified for being sexual.
- Rebecca Welton: On it.
- Rebecca Welton: You know, there might be a silver lining in all this. Just think of how many young women you are going to teach how to masturbate properly.
- Keeley Jones: What?
- Rebecca Welton: I'm serious. Back in the day, I didn't have a clue what I was doing. And then one day I accidentally bumped into my parents' couch and it felt nice, so I stuck with it.
- [chuckles]
- Rebecca Welton: A year later, my mum had to have everything reupholstered.
- [chuckles]
- Rebecca Welton: I blamed the dog.
- Keeley Jones: Well, that was smart.
- Rebecca Welton: Yeah, we didn't have a dog.
- Keeley Jones: [laughs] Oh, I love you.
- Rebecca Welton: I've got you.