- Roy Kent: Oi, what the fuck's a Hallmark Christmas movie?
- Ted Lasso: Hey look, man, I don't know what your beef is with Trent, but I'm gonna need you to order off the vegan menu right now and squash it. 'Cause your ego's about to sabotage a whole lot more than a silly football match. You feel me?
- [Roy nods]
- Ted Lasso: Thank you. And Hallmark Christmas movies are films that feature women from the big city, fall in love with their childhood crushes. It's usually some fella that owns a Christmas tree farm. Sometimes he's also Santa Claus or a prince. They suck, but they're great. But they also mostly suck. But they're also kind of great. They're good with the sound off.
- Rebecca Welton: [watching Rupert and Zava chat] Rupert's going to land Zava.
- Keeley Jones: You don't know that.
- Rebecca Welton: Years ago, when I was bartending in that private club, Rupert and his then wife came into the bar. He was the life and soul of the party, buying rounds of drinks for everyone, telling stories. Just charm personified. And he left me a massive tip. And then, about a week later, he came back without his wife and asked me out. I, of course, said no. And he left.
- Keeley Jones: What a dick!
- Rebecca Welton: But then he came back the next night, and the next night and the next, and he would just sit at the bar with a drink and chatter to me until close. And he just said, "It doesn't matter if you ever go out with me. It's just worth it being here to get to know you."
- Keeley Jones: It's a fine line between stalking and romance.
- Rebecca Welton: And after about six weeks of that, he asked me out again. And I said yes without any hesitation, because by that point, I just felt so lucky because he wanted me. He made me feel special. Chosen.
- [looks back at Zava, smiling and laughing with Rupert]
- Rebecca Welton: He made me feel like that.
- Ted Lasso: Hey Roy, I'm just curious what was it like being back at Chelsea? All them fans sure we're happy to see you.
- Roy Kent: I don't know. Just felt... Sad. Or something.
- Ted Lasso: Really? Why is that?
- Roy Kent: Last season I was there, we played a match against Arsenal, and we fucking murdered him.
- Trent Crimm: I remember, 3-nil
- Roy Kent: Yeah but I played like shit. Right? I did. That was the first time ever I thought I can't keep up anymore I'm not good enough, and that was all I could think about for the rest of the year. I knew it was only gonna get worse. So at the end of the season I left, everyone was shocked. The club was shocked. The fans. The press. Yeah I didn't want to be one of them broken-down footballers just taking up space until they're dropped years after they should've been.
- Ted Lasso: Yeah, well a lot of folks think it's better to quit then to be fired you know?
- Roy Kent: Yeah, but going back there today, there's a part of me thinking maybe I should've stayed and just fucking enjoyed myself. But that is not who I am I guess.
- Ted Lasso: Not yet. But hey, if you wouldn't have left Chelsea when you did, we probably never would have met.
- Leslie Higgins: Well did you sweet talk him?
- Rebecca Welton: What's the opposite of that?
- Keeley Jones: Sour... yell?
- Rebecca Welton: That. I did that.