- The Distressed Watcher: Is this The Karate Kid or is it choreographed dancing; or have the two become one in the same for the sake of this film? Step Up III: The Karate Kid, starring Will Smith's failure to wear a condom and Jackie "anything for a check" Chan. Skip it.
- The Distressed Watcher: Our next trailer is for Marmaduke. Because if we know one thing, it's that turning bad Sunday comics into big-budget, Hollywood CG abominations is a recipe for success.
- The Distressed Watcher: Oh God, is that Owen Wilson? Remember the time he tried to kill himself; wasn't that great? Hey Owen, better luck next time!