Young Person's Guide to History (TV Series)
Part 1 (2008)
Hugh Davidson: Thomas Jefferson
Quotes
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Paul Revere : [Riding on a bicycle to give warning] The British are coming! The British are coming! The British are coming! The British are coming! The British are coming! The British are coming!
[sees station wagon driven by Thomas Jefferson heading for him]
Paul Revere : No!
[station wagon hits Paul Revere]
Paul Revere : Aah!
Benjamin Franklin : [wakes up in passenger seat wearing sleep mask] What was that?
Thomas Jefferson : Nothing. And take that stupid thing off your head. It's embarrassing.
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Thomas Jefferson : I'm gonna bang some nurses America.
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General George Washington : Jefferson.
Thomas Jefferson : Huh?
General George Washington : You were the one who killed this man weren't you?
Thomas Jefferson : Maybe.
General George Washington : Do you know who he is?
Thomas Jefferson : [annoyed] No I don't know who he is.
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Thomas Jefferson : [Chasing after Elaine, The Frenchman's wife, after she catches him watching her in the bathroom] Oh come on that's what I'm into. Come on man.
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Alexander Hamilton : [Jefferson is messing with Benjamin Franklin's case] He don't want you looking at his porn.
Thomas Jefferson : Don't touch...
Alexander Hamilton : [Jefferson opens the case Benjamin Franklin emerges with futuristic clothing] Greetings! I am future Franklin! Here is today's invention!
[Hands Jefferson a small bottle]
Alexander Hamilton : That's shampoo... travel size.
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Thomas Jefferson : [Jefferson and Booufant are wrestling when a bird starts whistling] Looks it's the garlon.
[They both look at an eagle in awe. Jefferson then shoots the eagle]
Thomas Jefferson : Garlon.
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Monsieur Bouffant : [At a dinner where the eagle is the main course] This is delicious garlon. I have been all around this world and I have never ever come in contact with such a delicious creature as the garlon.
Benjamin Franklin : The Eagle.
Thomas Jefferson : Hey.
Benjamin Franklin : I mean you think it's funny to act...
Thomas Jefferson : To the garlon huh!
[the rest toast]
Benjamin Franklin : I'm sorry it's an eagle! You know it's not... there's no such thing as a garlon. You think it's funny to...
Monsieur Bouffant : Great garlon.
Benjamin Franklin : French idiot! I'll be in my carriage! Ignorance!
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Benjamin Franklin : Monsieur Bouffant allow me to introduce Thomas Jefferson.
Monsieur Bouffant : Thomas Jefferson? Wait you are the lunatic that keeps sending me moose carcasses in the mail.
[cut to his children screaming]
Monsieur Bouffant : You made our children cry.
Thomas Jefferson : I'm gon' keep making them cry until you admit American superiority in the case... in the term of...
Benjamin Franklin : [Franklin tries to whisper help] Animal
Thomas Jefferson : In animal...
Benjamin Franklin : Species and size...
Thomas Jefferson : and size.
Monsieur Bouffant : Oh no no! Elaine!
Elaine : Yeah?
Monsieur Bouffant : Le coq sil vous plait
Elaine : Le coq.
[Elaine produces a live rooster]
Elaine : [Thomas Jefferson gasps]
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Monsieur Bouffant : So may I ask Mr. Jefferson. What animal represents America?
Thomas Jefferson : [Jefferson trills to buy time] The bear!
Monsieur Bouffant : Russia.
Thomas Jefferson : They already got the bear?
Monsieur Bouffant : Yes. Yes.
Benjamin Franklin : [whispers to help Jefferson] Turkey.
Thomas Jefferson : I'm not saying turkey you stupid...
Benjamin Franklin : Say lion.
Thomas Jefferson : All right shut up. The... tiger the most powerful...
Monsieur Bouffant : India.
Thomas Jefferson : Huh... What?
Monsieur Bouffant : India.
[laughs at Jefferson]
Thomas Jefferson : The garlon! He's like a big 'ol building with fur and anger and he flies tall and he got a big mouft and he's got a face full of buildings which he will beat you up with cause he's got a building in his pocket.
Monsieur Bouffant : I would love to see this garlon.
Thomas Jefferson : And you will cause I'm gonna bring a garlon back here and he's gonna swallow your wife's cock.
