Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak (2011)
Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper
Photos
Quotes
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Berta : Hey, Charlie?
Charlie Harper : Yeah?
Berta : When did you become a bitch?
Charlie Harper : What? I was just leaving her a message.
Berta : The girl is married. Leave her alone.
Charlie Harper : I can't! I love her! I need her!
Berta : Bitch!
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Alan Harper : Dave and I had the same education, the same skills. We started our practice at the same time. But, he does three times the business that I do. You know why?
Charlie Harper : He offers happy endings?
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Alan Harper : Once the profits start rolling in, I can move out.
Charlie Harper : And once I grow boobs, I can start dancing the lunch shift at "Les Girls! Girls! Girls!".
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Alan Harper : With targeted advertising, I could double the size of my practice.
Charlie Harper : Wow! A second patient!
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Gordon : Everything okay, Mr. Harper?
Charlie Harper : My date just cancelled.
Gordon : Can't the service send over another girl?
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Charlie Harper : Berta? Are you seeing this? Am I dreaming?
Berta : You got the Kardashian sisters under the table?
Charlie Harper : Nope.
Berta : Then you're not dreaming.
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Alan Harper : You have $5,000 in your sweatpants?
Charlie Harper : I prefer to think of it as three hookers and a Philly cheesesteak.