- Jeremy Usborne: Don't worry. Zahra says we have only one fear to fear, and that's fear itself. It's a clever saying, isn't it?
- Mark Corrigan: And what about losing all your money? Or shitting yourself in public? Or the tabloid press mistakenly outing you as a paedo? Or Alzheimer's? Or all of those things, plus you're drowning?
- Jeremy Usborne: Christ, Mark. You really need to grow a pair.
- Mark Corrigan: Of testicles?
- Jeremy Usborne: Yes.
- Mark Corrigan: You want me to grow a pair of testicles so I'd have four testicles and somehow that'll help make me braver and better to deal with stress? Staggering around like a baboon with four balls hanging down?
- Jeremy Usborne: Look, Gail's fucking you over because you're so bloody passive. You need to rip her a new one.
- Mark Corrigan: A new anus? So she'd have two anuses? And then in this mad new world of yours, I'd presumably shove my four bollocks up her two anuses for some unknown reason.
- Super Hans: [speaking to Jeremy over the phone] Jez, you need to come and get me.
- Jeremy Usborne: What's up?
- Super Hans: I've accidentally run to Windsor.
- Jeremy Usborne: What?
- Super Hans: Yeah, I've mistakenly... run to Windsor!
- Jeremy Usborne: But that's, like, in Scotland or something... isn't it?
- Super Hans: I didn't mean to, it's just the endorphins kicked in and I couldn't stop!
- Jeremy Usborne: OK, well find some polythene or something to pull over yourself, and a bit of waste ground, and I'm sure you'll feel fine in the morning.
- Super Hans: My legs have gone man! I'm a jelly! I'm paralysed! Feels fucking brilliant!
- Mark Corrigan: [at his restaurant job, Mark's boss has just walked in on him trying to urinate into a pan of sauce] Am I sacked? Should I go? I bet I'm sacked.
- Mark Corrigan: I'm just off to Dobby's, and I don't think I'll be needing to be friends with Kenneth anymore.
- Jeremy Usborne: [nodding] OK. Do you think Kenneth might have been made redundant?
- Mark Corrigan: [tapping the side of his nose] Indeed, I think Kenneth can take a hike.
- [Jeremy chuckles. Mark leaves]
- Jeremy Usborne: [to Zahra and her book group friends] Kenneth is what Mark calls his 9 inch dildo.
- Jeremy Usborne: Amélie is a fantastic film. What a fantastic film.
- Zahra: Yeah. It's French but you can easily work out what's happening most of the way through.
- Jeremy Usborne: Exactly.
- Zahra: Not predigested, Hollywood blockbuster crap.
- Jeremy Usborne: That shit, trying to lure you in by entertaining you. It's so shallow.
- Jeremy Usborne: It's great, isn't it, how, even though I'm an attractive guy and you're an attractive girl, we can just hang out like great mates.
- Zahra: Yeah. Just because I'm going out with Ben...
- Jeremy Usborne: [voiceover] The shit.
- Zahra: ...doesn't mean that you and I can't be big buds.
- Jeremy Usborne: [about Zahra's book group] Does Ben...
- [voiceover]
- Jeremy Usborne: The shit.
- [voiceover ends]
- Jeremy Usborne: ...go?