House M.D. (TV Series)
Unplanned Parenthood (2010)
Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Gregory House : [to Wilson] You're telling me to do the right thing while climbing out a window?
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [House checks things in Rachel's diaper with chopsticks] Is everything okay?
Dr. Gregory House : Yeah. Sorry, just new to all this.
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Dr. Lisa Cuddy : I don't know. All I know is that I'm gonna need to work late. I was actually hoping that you could babysit.
Dr. Gregory House : No.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Please.
Dr. Gregory House : Not two nights in a row.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Please.
Dr. Gregory House : I have a life, you know?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : I will make it worth your while.
Dr. Gregory House : I am not going to bargain babysitting for sex... Who the hell said that? Of course I will.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Thank you.
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Dr. Gregory House : [In a soothing voice] Are there any masses causing an obstruction?
Dr. Chris Taub : No. Are you okay?
Dr. Gregory House : [Still in soothing voice] Just talking in a soothing voice. Not for your benefit. Why is it turning you on?
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Dr. Gregory House : Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? I know about the Jew, the Black and the Croc Hunter, but when did we get our Asian persuasion on?
Dr. Chris Taub : Dr. Cheng is the NICU attending on the case and she's not here.
Dr. Gregory House : Well, then I just wasted a perfectly good racial epithet.
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Dr. Gregory House : [to Wilson] You're gonna make a great mommy one day.
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Dr. James Wilson : Cuddy will be home from work in six hours. But no big deal. I'll just scream, "Look over there" while you quickly shove a scope up her daughter's rectum.
Dr. Gregory House : I could offer to babysit again, Let her have the night out.
Dr. James Wilson : Sure. That won't raise any suspicions.
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Dr. Eric Foreman : House, there's someone here I need you to meet. I just hired Dr. Christine Fraser. She's a board-certified...
Dr. Gregory House : [via phone] Nice to meet you. You're fired.
Dr. Fraser : What?
Dr. Eric Foreman : House, you're kidding, right? I've done my due diligence. She's the best there is.
Dr. Fraser : What did I do?
Dr. Gregory House : You had the misfortune to be the lesson that Foreman is learning. That whooshing sound is the air being let out of his ego.
[Fraser leaves the room]
Dr. Eric Foreman : You are such an ass, House. You could've made the same point without crushing the hopes of a young doctor who was actually excited to have this job.
Dr. Gregory House : I'm not sure I could have. You keep giving me far too much credit. Taub, it's your turn to find a young doctor who's actually excited to have this job.
Dr. Chris Taub : For you to fire?
Dr. Gregory House : Not until you, or she, earns it.