- Eric Northman: Your blood tastes like freedom, Sookie. Like sunshine in a pretty blond bottle. You may not know it yet, but that's what vampires smell when they smell you.
- Sookie Stackhouse: [to Bill] How did you become King anyway?
- [Bill opens his mouth]
- Sookie Stackhouse: Never mind. If there's one thing I learned from us being to together, it's that every time I found out something new about you, I ended up wishing I didn't know it.
- Nan Flanagan: [in 1982, after Bill let the bartender live] Why is it you don't kill your prey?
- Bill Compton: They might be dinner, but they don't deserve to die.
- Bill Compton: The Monarchs will crush you before you have a chance.
- Nan Flanagan: Which is why we need you. And others like you, to infiltrate the monarchies, and plant the seeds of discord from within.
- Bill Compton: Looking for a few good vampire spies, are you?
- Nan Flanagan: That's exactly what we're looking for. So are you in, or are you out?
- Pam De Beaufort: With what you are, faerie princess, you need to be somebody's or you won't BE at all. Eric is handsome, he's rich, and in his own way, he cares about you. He really does.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Thanks for the advice. But I will never be Eric Northman's puppet.
- Pam De Beaufort: Shame for you then. He pulls good strings.
- Arlene Fowler: Well, look at him, looking at me, laughin'! He ain't right, that boy!
- [to Mikey]
- Arlene Fowler: You hear me? You ain't right! You're rotten to the core, just like your daddy was!
- [Runs out]
- Terry Bellefleur: I'm your daddy, and I ain't rotten and neither are you. You hear me? Your mamma just gets a little crazy sometimes, which means we just have to love her that much harder.
- Sookie Stackhouse: [furious about the armoire Eric set up] He built himself a cubby! He built himself a cubby in my house!
- Eric Northman: There are two Sookie Stackhouses. One who still clings to the idea that she's merely human, and the other who's coming to grips with the fact that you are better than that.
- Sookie Stackhouse: And what do you think's gonna happen when I do come to grips with it? Do you think my legs are just gonna magically open for you?
- Eric Northman: Well, that was saucy. It must've been Fairy Sookie talking. I like when she comes out.
- Eric Northman: Has the AVL signed off on this?
- Bill Compton: I am the king of Louisiana. I don't have to ask anyone for permission!
- Pam De Beaufort: [to Sookie] Did I miss something? Are we girls now? Did we join a book club and read some queer chicklet memoir and now are bound together by estrogen and sisterhood or some other feminist drivel?
- Eric Northman: Now, here's the deal, Marnie. This is the last time your coven convenes. And before you even think about agreeing and then meeting behind my back, know this. There is NO behind my back. I am everywhere.
- Marnie Stonebrook: What's in it for me?
- Eric Northman: I said it was a deal, not a negotiation. Lafayette, do I negotiate?
- Lafayette Reynolds: I'd listen to him, Marnie. He tends to get his way.
- Bill Compton: [about the witches] They're necromancers, Eric. They brought a bird back from the dead.
- Eric Northman: Are you certain of this?
- Bill Compton: I had someone on the inside. I hope I don't have to impress upon you the implications of this.
- Eric Northman: You do not.
- Bill Compton: If they can control the dead, they can control us.
- Eric Northman: I remember the Inquisition. I was around back then.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Stay away from me.
- Eric Northman: This is no way to treat your new landlord.
- Sookie Stackhouse: I am not yours, and I want you out of my house now!
- Eric Northman: Funny about ownership, isn't it? A little piece of paper, and the only power you had over me is gone.
- Sookie Stackhouse: What do you want from me?
- Eric Northman: Everything.
- Sookie Stackhouse: You can't have it.
- Eric Northman: I bought it.
- Sookie Stackhouse: You bought my house. The house does not come with me inside it.
- Eric Northman: Well, then, I seriously overpaid.
- Sookie Stackhouse: That's your problem.
- Arlene Fowler: Can you hear him?
- Sookie Stackhouse: He's a baby. They don't think in words but I'll you one thing. He's an old soul.
- Arlene Fowler: Wait, don't say that!
- Terry Bellefleur: Arlene...
- Arlene Fowler: Well, he's not an old soul! He's new, all right? He's brand fuckin' new!
- [Runs off crying]
- Bill Compton: I brought backup.
- Sophie-Anne Leclerq: You brought humans into our affairs?
- Bill Compton: No, you did. When you sent me after Sookie.
- Casey: What we gonna bring back next?
- Marnie Stonebrook: A person.
- Jesus Velasquez: Excuse me?
- Marnie Stonebrook: A person.
- Jesus Velasquez: I'm sorry. What the fuck?
- Marnie Stonebrook: We're gonna raise a human body.
- Jason Stackhouse: If you're going to kill me, kill me now, fuckwad!
- Crystal Norris: Oh, no. We ain't gonna kill you.
- Felton Norris: We gonna make a baby.
- Jason Stackhouse: [to Felton] You and me?
- Crystal Norris: No, silly. You and me.
- Jason Stackhouse: Uh, two questions. Why is he all right with this? And also, if he ain't part of the baby-making, what's he getting naked for?
- Jason Stackhouse: [to Timbo] It's not that I don't appreciate all the licking, cuz I do, but I'm more of a Band-Aid kind of guy.
- Jessica Hamby: Stop acting like my stepmom. I hated it before and I like it even less now. Just go away. This ain't got nothing to do with you. I can eat who I want!
- Sookie Stackhouse: I am not your fuckin' dinner!
- [punches Eric]
- Eric Northman: You broke my nose!
- Sookie Stackhouse: You're a vampire. You'll heal in five minutes.
- Eric Northman: I know I'm a vampire, Snookie.
- Sookie Stackhouse: It's SOOKIE!
- Sam Merlotte: People don't get to be as beautiful as you are without havin' one hell of a story to tell.
- Luna Garza: Okay, that was a good line.
- Sam Merlotte: You like it?
- Luna Garza: Yeah.
- Sam Merlotte: Well, I only used it on two other women before you.
- Luna Garza: Really? And how'd it go with them?
- Sam Merlotte: I was one for two.
- Lafayette Reynolds: Don't tell me you don't think evil witches exist.
- Jesus Velasquez: Of course I do. But don't blame the magic for how it's used. I mean, light or dark, it's all the practitioner. If your soul is dark, you practice black magic.
- Nan Flanagan: Right now, on three different continents, the most brilliant scientific minds in our community, including Louis Pasteur, by the way, are working on synthesizing...
- Bill Compton: Pasteur's a vampire?
- Nan Flanagan: You didn't hear it from me.
- Sam Merlotte: Ain't you supposed to be in school?
- Luna Garza: I'm between classes.
- Sam Merlotte: Listen, if I'd had a teacher like you, I might have made it past the ninth grade.
- Luna Garza: And had I known this chair was so difficult to seduce you from, I would have waited for you standing.
- Jesus Velasquez: We gotta go.
- Tara Thornton: I just got here! Where the hell you goin'?
- Lafayette Reynolds: We got a thing.
- Tara Thornton: A gay thing?
- Suzanne McKittrick: What's the most fucked up thing I ever shifted into?
- Sam Merlotte: Yeah, come on.
- Emory Broome: Out with it.
- Suzanne McKittrick: All right. I'm gonna have to go with, I was a hen at an egg farm.
- Sam Merlotte: What'd you do that for? Some kind of animal rights thing?
- Suzanne McKittrick: Yes! To expose their inhumane practices!
- Emory Broome: Whole world ain't rich, you know. Not everybody can afford those organic free-range eggs you eat.
- Suzanne McKittrick: Oh, well, congratulations, Emory. You're so disenfranchised. "I eat the eggs of the poor people."
- Lafayette Reynolds: [to Marnie] Where the fuck y'all gonna get a dead body?
- Eric Northman: [Bursts in] Excuse me.
- [Fake accent]
- Eric Northman: Y'all are lookin' for a dead body?