Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis (TV Series)

Natalie Portman (2009)

Zach Galifianakis: Self - Host

Quotes 

• Himself - Host : you get the double meaning? like emotionally...

  Natalie Portman : [interrupts him]  yeah, I get it, I understand

  Himself - Host : do you wear bikinis?

  Natalie Portman : can we talk about the next thing?

  Himself - Host : next thing? OK, you shaved your head for V for Vendetta, did you also shave your V for vagina?

  Natalie Portman : [looks around, feeling uncomfortable by his question, shakes her head]  pass

  Himself - Host : [dog begins to snore, looks at the dog]  I got a bigger dick than that.

  Himself - Host : [segment ends] 

• Himself - Host : [looking off camera, counting down]  3, 2, 1...

  Himself - Host : [to the camera]  Hi my name is Zach Galifianakis this is Between Two Ferns today my guest is Natalie Port-man she's with her dog...

  Natalie Portman : [holds up her dog]  Wiiz, this is Wiiz

  Natalie Portman : [using her voice to imply Wiiz is greeting Zach]  hello

  Himself - Host : [annoyed, as she puts the dog on the floor]  Wiiz, alright, you're an accomplished actress, you've graduated from Harvard, you've done some great international charity work, what's your phone number?

  Natalie Portman : [shaking her head]  that's private

  Himself - Host : [dismissively]  yeah I know

  Himself - Host : [briefly stares at her legs]  you've done a lot of charity work...

  Natalie Portman : I've been working with a group called FINCA that does micro finance, it's like small loans for men and women in the developing worlds

  Himself - Host : that's great I do a lot of work with IMDB

  Natalie Portman : [remains silent, the dog comes back onto the stage] 

  Himself - Host : was it really upsetting in Star Wars that you didn't have more scenes with Chewbacca?

  Natalie Portman : yeah actually...

  Himself - Host : [interrupts her]  what's he like to work with?

  Natalie Portman : [rubbing her nose, thinking of a response]  ummm...

  Himself - Host : [interrupts her]  he doesn't speak English, does he? Does he have a translator? Because I always thought that'd be weird to communicate with him

  Natalie Portman : [remains silent] 

  Himself - Host : that'd be so funny if he drove a Miata

  Natalie Portman : [confused]  I'm not... What was the question?

  Himself - Host : [looking at his notes]  I'll ask him when he comes on the show

  Natalie Portman : [the dog crawls up to Natalie's feet] 

  Himself - Host : [the dog lies on his back, Natalie laughs]  what is he? A German Shepherd? Being in the movie and stuff, do people approach and say I have an idea for a movie, does that get annoying?

  Natalie Portman : yeah that's annoying

  Himself - Host : [intentionally annoying her with an idea for a movie]  I think it'd be cool like if you were in a movie wearing a two-piece bikini and get ready to make out with a guy, like a love scene and you undo your bikini in the back and you say "there's something I've been meaning to get off my chest."

  Natalie Portman : [remains silent, looks at her dog]