Standby (I) (2014)

Brian Gleeson: Alan

Quotes 

• Beatrice : [Discussing Alan's breakup]  You f*cked it up?

  Alan : No why do you think it was me who f*cked it up?

  Beatrice : It's 50/50 but more than likely, it is you, no?

• Beatrice : [Alan has recently run into an ex]  Maybe this is a second chance. It could be fate.

  Alan : You always say you don't believe in fate.

  Beatrice : Yes, because I have thought about it a lot. You? You definitely believe in this bullsh*t

• Alice : [At a pub]  So is this all people do in Dublin?

  Alan : There's not that much to do in the evenings. Maybe in the summertime...

  Alice : There must be something.

  Alan : Play a few games of pool. Get a kebab?

  Alice : I thought you were a tourist adviser?

  Alan : We usually advise them to go somewhere else.

• Alan : [Alan has just met Beatrice's new boyfriend]  Doesn't he work in the pharmacy?

  Beatrice : He gives me a discount on nicotine patches.

• Alice : Hey, if you had a summer romance with someone like eight years ago and they wanted you to stay an extra night to catch up, would you do it?

  Airline Woman : And no funny business?

  Alan : No!

  Airline Woman : Like nothing?

  Alan : Well, I can.