- Donna Tubbs: Cleveland, if I wanted to sleep in a teenage boy's room, I'd be teaching middle school in Florida.
- Bill Cosby: Oh, Cleveland. It's tough when you think you're getting the best of your abusive father when you're actually getting the best of your passive, enabling mother. What you ought to be doing is sexually harassing a series of women and paying them to keep quiet. Hey, hey, hey.
- Rallo Tubbs: [When Cleveland & Freight Train get into a fight with the man who conned Cookie] The challenger takes a vicious left and another left or maybe that's a right. I don't know which is which, but things are heating up here in the brawl at the mall. The conflagration by the yogurt station, the war by the Apple Store, the uppercut by the Sunglass Hut...
- Cleveland Brown: Rallo, I told you to stay in the hot car.
- LeVar 'Freight Train' Brown: You know what? Screw this. I'm out of here.
- Cleveland Brown: Wait, where are you going?
- LeVar 'Freight Train' Brown: Back to the storage space. There may be mice there, but at least they ain't dicks. One is, but he's only got three legs, so I give him a pass.
- Cleveland Brown Jr.: Maybe to cheer him up, you could make him three little shoes.
- LeVar 'Freight Train' Brown: I ain't no damn mouse cobbler.