Community (TV Series)
Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples (2010)
Yvette Nicole Brown: Shirley Bennett
Photos
Quotes
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Abed Nadir : See, in the filmmaker's film, Jesus is a filmmaker trying to find God with his camera. But then the filmmaker realises that he's actually Jesus and he's being filmed by God's camera, and it goes like that forever in both directions like a mirror in a mirror, because all of the filmmakers are Jesus and all of their cameras are God, and the movie's called: "ABED" - all caps. Filmmaking beyond film. A meta-film. My masterpiece.
Shirley Bennett : And I don't like it.
Abed Nadir : Well that's okay; you're reacting the way the world did to Jesus.
Shirley Bennett : I'm reacting the way the world does to movies about making movies about making movies! I mean, come on, Charlie Kaufman, some of us have work in the morning, damn!
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Abed Nadir : I want to tell the story of Jesus from the perspective of a filmmaker exploring the life of Jesus.
Shirley Bennett : That sounds... very appealing to filmmakers.
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Shirley Bennett : That's blasphemous. Who wants to see that?
Professor Ian Duncan : Seventeen million people.
Shirley Bennett : Oh. There were nine people at my church last night.
[silence fills the classroom]
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Abed Nadir : Shirley, I read the New Testament.
Shirley Bennett : The whole thing?
Abed Nadir : You know, being raised by TV and movies, I always thought Jesus just walked on water and told people not to have abortions, but it's so much cooler than that. He was like E.T., Edward Scissorhands and Marty McFly combined.
[Shirley giggles uh-huh]
Abed Nadir : I'd love to make a Jesus movie.
Shirley Bennett : Oh Abed, that's wonderful. What do you think we should do? It needs to be cool and addictive. Like that video of the kitten falling asleep.
Abed Nadir : Absolutely, but the story's been told to death, so I wanna approach it in a new way. We need a Jesus movie for the post post-modern world.
Shirley Bennett : Like Jesus as a rapper?
Abed Nadir : No. I wanna tell the story of Jesus from the perspective of a filmmaker exploring the life of Jesus.
Shirley Bennett : That sounds very appealing to filmmakers.
Abed Nadir : See, in the filmmaker's film, Jesus is a filmmaker trying to find God with his camera. But, then the filmmaker realizes that he's actually Jesus and he's being filmed by God's camera. It goes like that forever in both directions, like a mirror in a mirror, because all the filmmakers are Jesus and all their cameras are God. And the movie is called, ABED. All caps. Filmmaking beyond film. A meta film. My masterpiece.
Shirley Bennett : I don't... I don't like it.
Abed Nadir : Well that's okay. You know, you're reacting the way the world did to Jesus.
Shirley Bennett : I'm reacting the way the world does to movies about making movies about making movies. I mean, come on, Charlie Kaufman, some of us have work in the morning, damn.
Abed Nadir : Does this mean you don't wanna work on the movie? This means there is no movie.
Abed Nadir : [Abed looks confused and after processing looks into the camera] This is the movie.
Woman Vocalizing : ABED
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Annie Edison : So how's your film going, Abed?
Shirley Bennett : Blasphemously.
Abed Nadir : It's not blasphemy to say that we are God, Shirley. First Corinthians: He who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
Shirley Bennett : Did you just scripture me, Muslim?
Annie Edison : Jesus was Jewish.
Shirley Bennett : Are you ever gonna let that go?
Jeff Winger : [lowers newspaper he was reading] Hey. No religious talk.
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Shirley Bennett : I am gonna shut you down. You know that?
Abed Nadir : I do.
Shirley Bennett : Oh. Oh, I get it. I'm supposed to shut you down. Well, I'm not gonna do it.
Abed Nadir : Don't.
Shirley Bennett : I won't.
Abed Nadir : Good.
Shirley Bennett : I am gonna shut you down.
Abed Nadir : Good.
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Abed Nadir : Everyone thinks what you did was destined to happen. That it was proof God was making my movie. A movie so good it could never exist. They think I'm a genius, and they think you're a villain.
Shirley Bennett : Hmm.
Abed Nadir : You heard me praying.
Shirley Bennett : I don't know what you mean.
Professor Ian Duncan : Oh, this is gonna be good. Abed sent me a new link and that man knows his video virality.
Britta Perry : So you're just gonna drop all pretense of actually teaching us?
Professor Ian Duncan : Yeah. Here we go.
Troy Barnes : [on video] Blessed be the peacemaker's word to the meek / The kingdom of Heaven Is open all week
Shirley Bennett : You finished my movie.
Abed Nadir : I don't know what you mean.
Troy Barnes : [video continues] Only from the saint there / Lepers have feet there
[Shirley looks at Abed and takes his hand, a surprised Abed looks at Shirley]
Troy Barnes : Dogs love cats there / Cats love mice
Abed Nadir : You humble me.
Shirley Bennett : You humble me too.
[Abed holds Shirley's hand between his two hands]
Troy Barnes : [video continues] And the tables are pies / Ice cream is everywhere but never on your thighs / Good news is It can be your hood
Professor Ian Duncan : Okay, open your books because Abed has broken the Internet.
Troy Barnes : [video continues] As in word of God, yo
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Shirley Bennett : I told my pastor about YouTube and how there's no light there. Our church wants to sponsor the making of a viral video with a Christian message.
Pierce Hawthorne : Ha. What are you going to do, "Rapping Jesus"?
Shirley Bennett : Pierce, please step aside and make room for a new generation. Abed, would you like to make a Christian YouTube? I know you're Muslim...
Abed Nadir : As a Muslim, I'd be happy to. As a filmmaker, no way. I'm a storyteller, not a preacher.
Shirley Bennett : The Bible has been called the greatest story ever told.
Abed Nadir : Ben Lyons said the same thing about I Am Legend.
Shirley Bennett : Oh, well, I'll have to rent that then.
