Community (TV Series)
Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts (2011)
Ken Jeong: Ben Chang
Photos
Quotes
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Ben Chang : Chang babies are always premature. We gestate fast because we're better at obtaining nutrients. Some need only eight months, depending on how much of the mother they eat.
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Ben Chang : This has got to be a Chang baby. Changs are never born in hospitals. More like taxicabs, hardware stores, bank lines, sewers. My nephew Jin was born on a treadmill at Bally Total Fitness. Twenty-percent incline.
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Abed Nadir : Shirley, pretend I'm saying this in a soothing, non-robotic voice. We won't make it to the hospital.
Shirley Bennett : I'm gonna have this baby at a hospital with my husband, the father of my baby.
Ben Chang : n which case, what you need to do is elevate your legs over your head while facing the northeast corner of the room. But try not to look at the door, that's bad luck. Chang babies are very superstitious. Also, if you can visualize a rabbit riding a dragon it'll increase his chances of winning lotteries.
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Shirley Bennett : You said Chang babies all come this way?
Ben Chang : Yup, like a bullet from a gun.
Shirley Bennett : And they're all okay?
Ben Chang : Hell, yeah. More than okay. Super babies. Seven generations of little scrappers born in the worst conditions you can imagine.
Shirley Bennett : Tell me.
Ben Chang : My cousin slid out feet first in a Pickle Barrel. My uncle was born during rainy season in a Mongolian sheep pasture. My brother, born under a crowded noodle bar while my grandfather finished his shrimp. Nothing can stop us. Not the hurricanes, not the communists, not the feds, not the Girl Scouts.
