Community (TV Series)

Competitive Wine Tasting (2011)

Michelle Krusiec: Wu Mei

Photos 

Quotes 

• Pierce Hawthorne : I couldn't be more touched that you all threw us an engagement party.

  Shirley Bennett : You said if we didn't, you'd slash our tires.

  Wu Mei : [laughing]  Ha, ha, ha. She is funny. Like Oprah.

  Shirley Bennett : Oprah's not a comedienne.

  Wu Mei : No, you are funny, and you are like Oprah.

  [laughing] 

  Wu Mei : Heh, heh, heh. Yeah.

  Shirley Bennett : What?

  Wu Mei : Thank you.

• Jeff Winger : Lingering scent, full body, perfect nose.

  Wu Mei : Very nice wine.

  Jeff Winger : I was talking about you. Jeff Winger.

  [Jeff offers his hand] 

  Wu Mei : [Mei shakes hands]  Wu Mei Hong Long.

  Jeff Winger : Oh, what a lovely name for a lovely...

  Wu Mei : Uh... not interested. Please take weird haircut, stupid grin, and go sniff another dog's ass.

• Britta Perry : You said you guys just met?

  Pierce Hawthorne : Yesterday, after wine tasting class I mentioned that her breasts were larger than most Asian women, and uh... we just got to talking.

  Wu Mei : Turns out Pierce has been to China many times.

  Troy Barnes : It's the only place to get fireworks too dangerous for Mexico.

  Pierce Hawthorne : No. I go to visit my factory. Hawthorne Wipes are the number-one towelette in Asia. Anyway, after a few minutes, we both just knew we were meant to be together forever. Or at least until she gets heavy.

  Wu Mei : And, uh, now we must leave you. Many plans to make.

• Pierce Hawthorne : What's she doing here?

  Jeff Winger : I asked her to come. I was thinking maybe you two were meant to be together. You're both rude, you're both deceitful and racist, and you both come from moist-wipe dynasties. I think having that much in common justifies at least one real date.

  Pierce Hawthorne : [sighs]  I guess we could go out to dinner.

  Wu Mei : You're paying.

  Pierce Hawthorne : You're dressing slutty.

  Wu Mei : Fine.

  Pierce Hawthorne : How about Mexican?

  [Pierce puts his arm around Mei's shoulder as they exit] 

  Wu Mei : How about Thai? They're like Chinese Mexicans.

  Pierce Hawthorne : Hmm. So true.

  Wu Mei : Mmm.

• Jeff Winger : I'd like to propose a toast. Wu Mei Hong Long, better known as Mei Hong Long Wu, is not only not a Greendale student, she works for Red Dragon Wipes, the number-two wipe in Asia, currently attempting a takeover of Hawthorne Wipes. So please, raise your glasses, to saving Pierce from the clutches of a corporate spy, and to me for being attractive enough to get a girl like her under normal circumstances.

  Wu Mei : Very impressive, Veronica Mars. You learned how to use Google.

  Jeff Winger : And you learned to fight your desire for me.

  Wu Mei : Oh, stick it. You suck.