Community (TV Series)
Intro to Political Science (2011)
Danny Pudi: Abed Nadir
Photos
Quotes
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Agent Robin Vohlers : Abed Nadir, I'm Special Agent Robin Vohlers. This is Special Agent Keenlan of the Secret Service. Will you submit to a search of your personal belongings?
Abed Nadir : Sure.
[Agent Keenlan inspects Abed's backpack]
Agent Robin Vohlers : [pats down Abed] If I may ask, how did you notice the campus was being observed?
Abed Nadir : Guess I noticed because I'm used to being the only observer.
Agent Robin Vohlers : Well, we're not used to being noticed.
Abed Nadir : That sounds a little sad.
Special Agent Glenn Keenlan : He's clean. Although I could issue a warning for this bootleg of "The Last Airbender."
Abed Nadir : Where were you a week ago?
[chuckles]
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Troy Barnes : This election's become a real horse race. According to our polls, the campus is almost evenly divided. Now, keep in mind the margin of error is about 98 percent.
Abed Nadir : Could be higher. We don't even know how to do margins of error. We talked to two people at a vending machine.
Troy Barnes : Well, I'm being told we're taking a quick break, but stay tuned.
Abed Nadir : They have to stay tuned. It's closed-circuit television.
Troy Barnes : Don't know what that means.
Man : And we're out.
Troy Barnes : [snaps fingers twice] Can I get an apple juice, please? Freshly squeezed this time, or so help me God, Maurice.
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Abed Nadir : I'm Abed Nadir saying: Did you know you could make napalm out of common dish soap and cat food?
Troy Barnes : What? Why would you say that?
Abed Nadir : Hmm?
[cut to Biden's motorcade, siren wails]
Agent Robin Vohlers : [cell phone rings] Vohlers. Hmm, yeah.
[to Biden]
Agent Robin Vohlers : I'm sorry sir, we're gonna have to move on to city college. Apparently there's an elevated threat level at Greendale. But don't worry. I'll check it out... personally.
Joe Biden : Whatever. I just had a dream that I was a regular president.
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Abed Nadir : The vice president is coming. That explains the people I've noticed covertly surveilling the campus this week. Must be Secret Service.
Jeff Winger : Oh, Abed, will your reality ever come out on Blu-ray so we can enjoy it?
Janitor : We've been made.
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Annie Edison : I have so many ideas for improving the school.
Jeff Winger : Improving Greendale takes more than ideas, Annie. It takes time, gasoline, matches.
Abed Nadir : [imitates Carl from Slingblade] Mm. Nice, psshew.
[carves 23rd tick mark under Classic "Wingers" on the table's box apron]