- Roger the Alien: [to Stan] I know the restaurant business. I managed a Hardee's in Myrtle Beach for three years. Everyone called it "Party Hardee's" 'cause of the buttload of drugs I was moving through there. I was "sick" the day of the raid. Got tipped off by this detective whose daughter I saved from drowning. But I... I can't go back there. He won't look the other way again.
- Roger the Alien: [to Stan] I leased the restaurant truck like you wanted!
- Stan Smith: Is it Arctic White?
- Roger the Alien: Yeah. It's weird how white it is. Weirder than one of those white dog poos.
- Stan Smith: Oh, yeah, those are weird. Have you ever seen a dog lay one of those?
- Roger the Alien: No. Just seen them on the grass.
- Stan Smith: Me too.
- Roger the Alien: [to Farmer Ted] Here's my home number, my cell and the women's shelter where I'm either volunteering or dropping off my stupid whore wife. Soup is not a meal, Vera!
- Ashley: [to Snot about her doll, Julia] You took advantage of Julia!
- Snot Lonstein: What? Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no.
- Ashley: Get out!
- Steve Smith: What's going...?
- Ashley: Both of you, get out!
- Steve Smith: No, no, wait!
- Ashley: She was a virgin!
- [holds Julia close to her]
- Ashley: What's that, Julia? He didn't use a condom?
- Steve Smith: You didn't use a condom?
- Snot Lonstein: Are you kidding me?
- Roger the Alien: You're a bum, Qui-Lo! You think you can treat people like this because you've got everything going for you? Well, obviously you can because I'm fine with you and I'll be rooting for you in the bike race this Friday!
- Steve Smith: [to Snot] We have to get rid of that doll!
- Snot Lonstein: No way! I'm done!
- Steve Smith: Mount Vernon, dude.
- Snot Lonstein: I hated that trip! I pooed my pants on the bus ride there. That's a long time to pretend you don't smell anything.