Community (TV Series)
The Art of Discourse (2010)
Danny Pudi: Abed Nadir
Photos
Quotes
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Jeff Winger : [yells at Pierce] Would you stop tuning that guitar? You are 105 years old! Tell me exactly what you did with your life to end up here so I don't make the same mistakes!
Pierce Hawthorne : [yells at Jeff] Excuse me!
[normal voice]
Pierce Hawthorne : But it's springtime, and I thought I might woo a few chicks.
[strumming guitar and singing]
Pierce Hawthorne : No one to watch while we're kissing. / No one to see while we spoon.
[Abed rises and approaches Pierce]
Pierce Hawthorne : Let's take a trip in my airship, / and we'll visit the man in the moon.
[Abed grabs the guitar and begins beating the guitar against the study group table]
Pierce Hawthorne : Hey, hey, hey. What the... hey! Hey! What?
[shouts]
Pierce Hawthorne : What the hell?
Abed Nadir : Sorry.
Jeff Winger : Animal House. A reference my ears applaud.
Abed Nadir : I couldn't resist. Smashing the guitar of someone singing a cloying love song was on my quintessential college experience list.
Annie Edison : Your what?
Abed Nadir : It's a list of everything that movies have taught me comprises a successful first year at college.
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Troy Barnes : Are you sure it's the name of my grade school and my favorite soft drink?
Abed Nadir : Yup. Pretty sure.
Troy Barnes : George Washington Lemon Fresca. That's a horrible porn name.
Abed Nadir : I don't make the rules.
Troy Barnes : What's yours?
Abed Nadir : Henry David Thoreau Diet Squirt.
Troy Barnes : Oh, that's good. Hello, Henry David Thoreau Diet Squirt. How many pornos have you been in?
Abed Nadir : 6,012. How many pornos have you been in, George Washington Lemon Fresca?
Troy Barnes : 2,019. It's my first week.
Abed Nadir : Impressive.
Troy Barnes : Thank you.
Abed Nadir : You're welcome.
Pizza Guy : [porn music plays] Someone here order a pizza? Is it you guys? It has extra sausage.
Troy Barnes : No.
[Abed and Troy exit]
Pizza Guy : It's big and hot.
Leonard : That's my pizza. But you took longer than 30 minutes, So I'm not paying.
[playing electronic bass]
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Shirley Bennett : You are pathological, and you will never change.
Pierce Hawthorne : Huh. That is the pot calling the kettle... a kettle, okay.
Shirley Bennett : Oh, you can say black, Pierce. I'm a black woman. The cat is out the bag. You have literally identified me to strangers as "the black woman."
Pierce Hawthorne : Out of context. Context is everything. I call the other women "flat-butt" and "the one Abed wants to nail."
[Annie mouths "You?" and points to Britta, Britta quizzically points to herself, mouths "Not me" and shakes her head]
Britta Perry : So what's the context for constantly referring to me as a lesbian? If the wallet chain fits. I'm just trying to help you find yourself.
Troy Barnes : At least he doesn't think that Shirley's my mom anymore. He thinks that we're cousins.
Pierce Hawthorne : You're not?
Abed Nadir : He still assumes I'm a terrorist. If you're not, I'm sorry. And if you are, I'm a hero. I'm willing to take that chance.
Annie Edison : You said I have a crafty, Jew brain.
Pierce Hawthorne : Nobody knows how to take a compliment anymore.
