- Chief Tommy Delk: Did you just say "hippies" and "Mary Jane?"
- Louie Provenza: Yes, I did.
- Chief Tommy Delk: How old are you?
- Louie Provenza: Six chiefs and counting.
- Fritz Howard: Why can't you let the undercover detectives handle this?
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Because I want these guys alive and SIS shoots first and asks questions never. And I'll be sittin' in a surveillance van the whole time, anyhow.
- Fritz Howard: And the surveillance van's gonna be parked three blocks away.
- [Brenda nods]
- Fritz Howard: [insistently] Eh, and the surveillance van is going to be parked...
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Oh, for Heaven's sakes, the surveillance van will be parked three blocks away.
- Fritz Howard: Thank you.
- [hands Brenda her glass of champagne]
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Thank you.
- [on stakeout the next day]
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: [sighs] Can we move the van a little closer?
- Mike Tao: Not without going inside.
- Louie Provenza: I know... I know it's shocking to find drug dealers shooting each other over money Next thing you know, husbands will be killing their wives for being unfaithful. Ooo, what a world.
- Sam Dodson: Shea's Lounge. It's a... kind of our showpiece strain. Nobody else had it. It's a 40% indica/60% sativa hybrid. It's like a cross between Skywalker and Super Skunk with a little ruderalis thrown in to reinforce the THC content. Shea created it.
- Louie Provenza: Did he apply for the Nobel Prize?
- Chief Tommy Delk: Robbery-Homicide, Counterterrorism, Major Crimes - I've always had my doubts about these specialized divisions - people standing around waiting for a crime that matches the name of their department. And with our hiring freeze, I need every work hour to be well spent, even if I have to move people to do it, like, say, uh... you.
- Greg Lapham: Uh, don't treat me like an idiot. Worked on a law show for two years.
- Mike Tao: Well, it must not have been a very good one.
- Mike Tao: See, Provenza? A lot of 'em aren't hippies!
- Louie Provenza: Yeah, well, I promise you, Tao, in every one of their closets, somewhere, there's a tie-dyed shirt.
- Chief Tommy Delk: I like to have people in their proper places. You, for example, would make an excellent assistant chief of operations.
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: That's Will Pope's job.
- Chief Tommy Delk: And I'd like someone with more hands-on experience in his position.
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: [viewing robbery footage] They wait for someone to leave. Why don't they enter directly?
- Buzz Watson: Most marijuana dispensaries have electronic security doors that only unlock from the inside.
- Louie Provenza: And you know this because...?
- Buzz Watson: My mom has a prescription for pot.
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Oh. What's wrong with her?
- Buzz Watson: She has insomnia and glaucoma. I-I have to guide her to the door sometimes.
- Andy Flynn: Ever buy anything?
- Julio Sanchez: How do you think he got the name "Buzz?"